1
00:00:02,146 --> 00:00:05,666
(explosions blasting)

2
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:08,280
(guns firing)

3
00:00:29,421 --> 00:00:32,721
(explosions blasting)

4
00:00:38,377 --> 00:00:42,027
(aeroplane engine roaring)

5
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:48,640
- [Soldier] Quick as
you can, quick, quick.

6
00:01:02,418 --> 00:01:03,938
- Tommy, what are you doing here?

7
00:01:03,944 --> 00:01:04,814
- Look!

8
00:01:06,371 --> 00:01:09,581
- That will do, into the car.

9
00:01:09,575 --> 00:01:12,355
(bomb blasting)

10
00:01:14,126 --> 00:01:17,946
- Thomas Hicks, you have been
found guilty of cowardice

11
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,262
in the face of the enemy.

12
00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:22,114
The sentence is death by shooting.

13
00:01:23,197 --> 00:01:26,717
The firing party will be
found from your own regiment.

14
00:01:26,722 --> 00:01:28,952
Lieutenant Hammond, take him away.

15
00:01:30,505 --> 00:01:33,885
(dramatic tense music)

16
00:01:55,179 --> 00:01:56,999
- [Soldier] Take aim,

17
00:01:58,096 --> 00:02:01,786
fire!
(guns banging)

18
00:02:01,785 --> 00:02:05,165
(dramatic tense music)

19
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,030
(gun bangs)

20
00:02:28,768 --> 00:02:31,108
(retching)

21
00:02:38,362 --> 00:02:40,532
- [Soldier] Left, right, left.

22
00:02:40,534 --> 00:02:43,844
(marching band music)

23
00:02:53,201 --> 00:02:55,811
Left, left, left, right, left.

24
00:03:06,952 --> 00:03:09,562
Left, left, left, right, left.

25
00:03:22,555 --> 00:03:25,155
Left, left, left, right, left.

26
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,369
Royal Midsomers, halt!

27
00:03:51,587 --> 00:03:53,237
Right, right, turn.

28
00:03:56,864 --> 00:03:57,914
Steady, ace.

29
00:04:02,105 --> 00:04:03,055
Stand easy.

30
00:04:07,174 --> 00:04:11,804
- I would now like to call upon my father,

31
00:04:11,803 --> 00:04:14,243
Corporal Lionel Hicks,

32
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:20,275
to unveil the new name
on our war memorial,

33
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:26,731
that of his father, my grandfather,

34
00:04:26,735 --> 00:04:31,805
Private Tommy Hicks of the
Royal Midsomer Yeomanry.

35
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:33,951
Father.
- Thank you.

36
00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:38,960
There you go, dad.

37
00:04:41,427 --> 00:04:44,557
(audience clapping)

38
00:04:50,693 --> 00:04:55,913
- And so after 90 years,
a great wrong is righted

39
00:04:56,984 --> 00:05:00,804
and the twin blemishes of
cowardice and desertion

40
00:05:01,705 --> 00:05:05,105
are wiped from the pages of
the Hicks family history.

41
00:05:05,107 --> 00:05:05,977
- Piffle.

42
00:05:08,932 --> 00:05:10,062
- Here we go.

43
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:18,189
- The courage and honour of
Tommy Hicks is now recognised

44
00:05:19,371 --> 00:05:24,591
despite the efforts of certain
elements in our community.

45
00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:27,727
(Biddy laughing)

46
00:05:27,733 --> 00:05:29,633
- How's it goin', Lionel?

47
00:05:29,631 --> 00:05:32,091
- Fine, Biddy, put the kettle on.

48
00:05:32,089 --> 00:05:33,329
(laughing)

49
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,013
- Oh, I know what you want.

50
00:05:35,908 --> 00:05:38,228
- Do the bloody salute!

51
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,540
- Parade, parade up!

52
00:05:42,936 --> 00:05:43,806
Slope up!

53
00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:51,297
One round of volley fire, take aim.

54
00:05:54,697 --> 00:05:57,927
Fire!
(guns blasting)

55
00:05:57,932 --> 00:06:01,242
(gun cocks and fires)

56
00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:08,480
Royal Midsomers, slope arms!

57
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,588
- Crack regiment, this.
- Shh.

58
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,490
- Parade, right, turn!

59
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,190
Parade, fall up, left.

60
00:06:23,036 --> 00:06:25,726
(gentle music)

61
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:41,166
- Farce, absolute bloody farce!

62
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,578
- Yes, Henry, come along, girls.

63
00:06:46,391 --> 00:06:48,571
- [Dave] Watch the car.

64
00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,847
- What about my wheelchair?

65
00:06:50,846 --> 00:06:53,676
- Forget it, no way, it will scratch.

66
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,399
Get your girlfriend to push you home.

67
00:07:00,691 --> 00:07:05,561
- Thanks, son, I'm glad I
fought a war for you, anytime.

68
00:07:14,822 --> 00:07:17,522
(rain falling)

69
00:07:25,998 --> 00:07:29,038
- You going, sir?
- No way, I'm not.

70
00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:31,798
The chief's the one
with the pretty uniform.

71
00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:34,483
He can get between the
Hickses and the Hammonds.

72
00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,585
- 90 years, they've been
at each other's throats.

73
00:07:36,592 --> 00:07:39,882
- Yeah, and they are truly
awful families, Jones.

74
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,980
The Hammonds are all huff
and puff military wallahs,

75
00:07:42,983 --> 00:07:45,633
and the Hickses are a bunch of spivs.

76
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:47,185
- Including his worship the mayor?

77
00:07:47,185 --> 00:07:48,425
- Especially his worship the mayor.

78
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,716
It's his company that
put up my bloody roof.

79
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,410
- Maybe this pardon thing
will put an end to the feud.

80
00:07:53,412 --> 00:07:56,882
- It's not likely, feuding is
an Olympic sport round here.

81
00:07:59,031 --> 00:08:00,911
- Tomorrow is our big day,

82
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:04,687
so it would be much appreciated if we,

83
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,553
if you could be as authentic as possible.

84
00:08:07,549 --> 00:08:09,759
So we don't want to see any iPod leak

85
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,440
into the regulation lanyards.

86
00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:13,739
And no brollies either, capes only.

87
00:08:17,042 --> 00:08:19,822
(rain dripping)

88
00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:29,659
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, I can't think.

89
00:08:29,658 --> 00:08:30,808
What would you reckon?

90
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,223
- I'm going to kill that man.

91
00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:42,328
- Don't touch the electrics!

92
00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:46,192
- Corporal Ryan, did you have
your public address system

93
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,112
set up for my commentary?

94
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,380
- [Mickey] They'll hear
you loud and clear, Johnny.

95
00:08:50,384 --> 00:08:52,954
- Sir or captain when
we're on parade, please.

96
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,219
- They'll hear you loud
and clear, sir, or captain.

97
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,490
- Jolly good.

98
00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:01,207
- Florence of Arabia rides again.

99
00:09:01,205 --> 00:09:04,465
(soldiers laughing)

100
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:07,316
- Parade, parade up!

101
00:09:10,394 --> 00:09:13,124
- You were all a bloody disgrace.

102
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,189
I've never seen such a shambles.

103
00:09:15,190 --> 00:09:16,970
- Silly old fart.

104
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,403
- Put that man on a charge, Johnny.

105
00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:20,302
Put him on a charge.

106
00:09:20,299 --> 00:09:22,119
- Father, I can't do that.

107
00:09:22,115 --> 00:09:26,315
This is not the real
army, this is our hobby.

108
00:09:26,318 --> 00:09:27,798
- Hobby, a hobby?

109
00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:31,999
Is that what this family's coming to?

110
00:09:31,996 --> 00:09:33,906
So the army's a hobby?

111
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,190
You are all pathetic!

112
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:40,070
- [Barnaby] The flashing
isn't overlapping,

113
00:09:40,069 --> 00:09:44,739
and these new slate sets, cracked!

114
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:48,285
Like a complete bloody cowboy.

115
00:09:48,286 --> 00:09:51,516
- Guaranteed?
- Expired a month ago.

116
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:52,658
- Well, will the insurance cover it?

117
00:09:52,655 --> 00:09:54,745
- [Barnaby] Like hell it will,
they're all crooks as well.

118
00:09:54,753 --> 00:09:56,573
Come on!

119
00:09:56,565 --> 00:09:58,305
- Look at them!

120
00:09:58,305 --> 00:10:01,515
Jarvis Hammond, Blenheim, Malplaquet.

121
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:09,488
Sebastian Hammond, Rorkes Drift,

122
00:10:12,075 --> 00:10:14,415
Duggie Hammond on the Somme

123
00:10:16,047 --> 00:10:17,517
and me in Malaya.

124
00:10:18,427 --> 00:10:20,977
Wherever those Midsomers were,

125
00:10:20,975 --> 00:10:23,695
the Hammonds were there to lead them.

126
00:10:23,696 --> 00:10:26,106
So what were you doing?

127
00:10:26,105 --> 00:10:26,965
- You didn't have to come.

128
00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:28,593
- Of course, I did!

129
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,356
Regimental occasion.

130
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,703
My personal feelings don't come into it.

131
00:10:32,702 --> 00:10:34,512
To encourage the others,

132
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,941
that's why Duggie had
to shoot that Hicks boy.

133
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:41,814
Eh, Bella?

134
00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:44,874
Bella!

135
00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:53,101
- Yes, shall we have supper now?

136
00:10:53,102 --> 00:10:56,662
I'll...I'll...I'll go and find the girls.

137
00:10:57,732 --> 00:10:59,532
- Father, tomorrow.
- Forget it.

138
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,854
- Please, for the sake of the family,

139
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:04,120
our name in the village.

140
00:11:07,886 --> 00:11:09,166
- I'm off to the pub.

141
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,469
(wheelchair whirring)

142
00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:18,703
(gentle music)

143
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:32,050
- Martin, how much do you
love Chateau Hicks then?

144
00:11:32,046 --> 00:11:34,486
- Very nice, very you.

145
00:11:34,489 --> 00:11:37,059
- [Dave] I couldn't have done
it without your legal nous.

146
00:11:37,061 --> 00:11:38,141
- [Martin] No.

147
00:11:38,135 --> 00:11:40,445
- [Dave] So what you got cooking then?

148
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,716
- When my father retired he
passed on various documents

149
00:11:47,718 --> 00:11:51,248
from old clients, most
notably, the Hammonds.

150
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,842
- [Dave] And?

151
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,017
- Well, this may be of interest to you.

152
00:11:57,655 --> 00:12:00,045
- I always look after
them that look after me.

153
00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:06,796
- [Barnaby] Oh, not the village pub.

154
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,100
- Well, I'm not cooking here!

155
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,503
- Well, the local loons
come out of the woodwork

156
00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:12,111
and start to gibber at me.

157
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,397
Couldn't you do a salad?

158
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,800
- Midsomer Parva, the Woodman.

159
00:12:15,798 --> 00:12:16,898
Get your clogs on.

160
00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:21,214
(groans)

161
00:12:21,214 --> 00:12:23,914
(gentle music)

162
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:37,818
(snorting)

163
00:12:45,578 --> 00:12:49,038
- [Dave] Dave Hicks, man of property.

164
00:12:50,113 --> 00:12:51,513
- Tell it to the Hammonds.

165
00:12:52,418 --> 00:12:53,618
- We're as good as them now.

166
00:12:53,617 --> 00:12:55,177
- In your dreams.

167
00:12:55,181 --> 00:12:58,191
You're still rubbish, you always will be.

168
00:12:58,186 --> 00:13:00,186
- What have I done now?

169
00:13:02,556 --> 00:13:04,016
What?

170
00:13:04,023 --> 00:13:05,173
- Which one of the local slappers

171
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:07,510
you having a ding dong with this time?

172
00:13:07,506 --> 00:13:08,516
- Give me a break, Jude.

173
00:13:08,517 --> 00:13:11,187
- Well, your golf sweater
stinks of Chanel Number Five.

174
00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:13,637
- Look, I'm the mayor of
Causton for god's sake.

175
00:13:13,637 --> 00:13:15,007
People watch me every move.

176
00:13:15,013 --> 00:13:16,303
I could no more be having an affair

177
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,826
than flying to the bleeding moon.

178
00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:20,799
- Well, why won't the local
women look me in the eye then?

179
00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:25,019
- Probably 'cause of the day you dress.

180
00:13:25,023 --> 00:13:26,073
- I beg your pardon!

181
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,490
- You could try and fit in a bit more.

182
00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:33,557
- I hate living here.

183
00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:36,845
I'm a Causton woman, a townie.

184
00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:40,865
I don't want to be part of
your social climbing crap.

185
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:52,410
- How did the council give permission

186
00:13:52,405 --> 00:13:54,565
for their ghastly house
in the first place?

187
00:13:54,574 --> 00:13:56,424
- Hicks probably bribed them.

188
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,649
- Whole family should be put down.

189
00:13:57,650 --> 00:13:59,110
- Oh, please.

190
00:13:59,109 --> 00:14:01,639
- Terrible people, always were.

191
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,970
- It's been going on for ninety years now.

192
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,349
Maybe we could all move on?
- Why?

193
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,267
- Because, because.

194
00:14:20,057 --> 00:14:22,517
- Oh, by the way, Daddy, I
must have some more money.

195
00:14:22,518 --> 00:14:24,058
The livery costs have gone ballistic.

196
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:24,931
- Not a chance.

197
00:14:26,188 --> 00:14:28,438
The trustees have made some
very boring investments,

198
00:14:28,441 --> 00:14:30,491
all capital, no income.

199
00:14:30,485 --> 00:14:32,665
- How long are those bastards
gonna rule our lives?

200
00:14:32,674 --> 00:14:34,364
- Until your grandfather,
your mother and I

201
00:14:34,363 --> 00:14:36,623
are all dead and the trust wraps up.

202
00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:37,958
Then you'll both be very comfortable.

203
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,831
Meanwhile you could always
get a job, like your sister.

204
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,358
- Blah, blah, blah.

205
00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:53,696
- See, 30 acres of solid gold.

206
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:55,105
- It's agricultural.

207
00:14:55,113 --> 00:14:56,713
I mean, look at the zoning.

208
00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:00,719
- You always were the
dumb one, weren't you?

209
00:15:00,719 --> 00:15:01,809
- Dad!

210
00:15:01,808 --> 00:15:04,988
- I'm the mayor, head of planning.

211
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,358
Change of use order?

212
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:08,484
Certainly, Mr. Mayor.

213
00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:13,151
30 acres, solid gold.
- Right, that's cool.

214
00:15:13,152 --> 00:15:15,662
That's really cool, nice one, dad.

215
00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:26,001
(recorder rewinding)

216
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:32,347
- Miss Hammond?
- Mr. Hicks.

217
00:15:35,331 --> 00:15:38,331
So, how's it going?

218
00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:40,414
- It's going how it's going.

219
00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:42,842
- I mean, when will it be finished?

220
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:45,478
- It's a work of art,
not a military objective.

221
00:15:45,476 --> 00:15:47,926
Please?
- Artists.

222
00:15:47,927 --> 00:15:51,157
No order, no discipline.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

223
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,769
We represent everything you abhor.

224
00:15:52,765 --> 00:15:54,455
Now shut up and get on the bed.

225
00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:11,922
(bar patrons chatting)

226
00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:18,533
- So the Hickses have come a full circle,

227
00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:20,730
from yobs to nobs in a hundred years.

228
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:21,999
(laughing)

229
00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:23,971
- And don't they love you for it?

230
00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:26,306
(laughing)

231
00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:29,583
- [Lionel] Do you want a drink, George?

232
00:16:29,582 --> 00:16:32,512
- Nah, I've got the milk round later.

233
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,463
- [Lionel] You still doing that?

234
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,609
- Oh, aye, set your clock by me.

235
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:40,820
- Hammond Hill here, the lane
goes right past the Hall.

236
00:16:41,929 --> 00:16:42,799
Easy peasy.

237
00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:47,699
Oh, come on, it's for Lionel.

238
00:16:48,682 --> 00:16:51,432
My old mate there, yo, Lionel!

239
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,498
- Yo, Mickey.

240
00:16:52,497 --> 00:16:54,837
(laughing)

241
00:17:02,131 --> 00:17:05,681
- Huh, they've lacquered
these horse brasses

242
00:17:05,681 --> 00:17:07,201
instead of polishing them.

243
00:17:07,204 --> 00:17:09,264
- About 50 years ago.

244
00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:12,598
They've got crumbed scampi.
- Oh, goody.

245
00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:13,467
(laughing)

246
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:14,325
- [Mickey] What'll it be then?

247
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:15,334
- [Lionel] Nothing for George.

248
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,286
Shandy for me and the same for my ho.

249
00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:21,295
(laughing)

250
00:17:21,302 --> 00:17:23,342
- Would you people keep the noise down?

251
00:17:24,537 --> 00:17:26,007
- Are you talking to me, general?

252
00:17:26,014 --> 00:17:28,904
- No, I'm talking to that Hicks creature.

253
00:17:28,903 --> 00:17:30,003
- [Lionel] Oh my god.

254
00:17:31,057 --> 00:17:31,927
- Do you know what was wrong

255
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:33,835
with the execution of your father?

256
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,225
- Not tonight, general.

257
00:17:35,232 --> 00:17:36,412
- Duggie should have shot him

258
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,010
before he had a chance to breed.

259
00:17:38,005 --> 00:17:39,095
- You leave him alone.

260
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,440
- Then we wouldn't have
this long line of Hickses

261
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:45,486
living in Parva, in that bloody
awful red brick monstrosity.

262
00:17:45,492 --> 00:17:48,222
- I'm not fighting tonight.
- No, of course, you're not!

263
00:17:48,224 --> 00:17:50,394
Because you're like your father, a coward.

264
00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:52,409
- Come on, Biddy.

265
00:17:53,802 --> 00:17:55,942
- Go on, you little weasel.

266
00:17:58,633 --> 00:17:59,503
(laughing)

267
00:17:59,502 --> 00:18:01,522
- Right, Lionel, that's it, come on.

268
00:18:01,523 --> 00:18:03,873
(laughing)

269
00:18:08,098 --> 00:18:09,348
Go on, get back in there,

270
00:18:09,352 --> 00:18:11,702
go on, smack him already.

271
00:18:11,704 --> 00:18:12,574
- Charge!

272
00:18:14,538 --> 00:18:19,748
(dramatic music)
(cheering)

273
00:18:30,224 --> 00:18:32,574
(clanging)

274
00:18:40,348 --> 00:18:41,488
- Oi! Oi! Oi!

275
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:43,104
Stop it, stop it.

276
00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:44,888
All right, you stop it, both of you.

277
00:18:44,888 --> 00:18:46,298
Stop it there, stop it now.

278
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:48,122
Put that down.

279
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,420
Lionel, give me that.

280
00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:53,500
What is the matter with you two?

281
00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:55,418
Has evolution passed you by?

282
00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:57,456
What was that ceremony
about, yesterday, eh?

283
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:58,730
Was that drawing a line under

284
00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:01,319
all this flaming business or not, eh?

285
00:19:01,318 --> 00:19:02,188
- Oh, you're right.

286
00:19:02,186 --> 00:19:04,566
What you say, Henry, kiss and make up?

287
00:19:06,281 --> 00:19:09,431
- Over my dead body.
(wheelchair whirring)

288
00:19:09,427 --> 00:19:10,297
- Ow!

289
00:19:13,382 --> 00:19:15,582
I'm going to finish my meal.

290
00:19:15,582 --> 00:19:16,952
If you lot want to kill each other,

291
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:20,028
would you please do it quietly?

292
00:19:22,447 --> 00:19:25,337
(laughing)

293
00:19:25,342 --> 00:19:26,422
- Don't you worry.

294
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,304
- On parade, corporal.

295
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:42,060
(gentle music)

296
00:19:42,059 --> 00:19:44,549
(yelling and laughing)

297
00:19:44,554 --> 00:19:48,644
- Get off, (laughing) stop it!

298
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,021
God, I hate you.

299
00:19:59,814 --> 00:20:01,284
Just behave, will you?

300
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:11,946
- Hmm, what would our families think?

301
00:20:15,342 --> 00:20:19,472
- A common Hicks all over a posh Hammond?

302
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,279
There'd be dead generals
spinning in their graves

303
00:20:21,283 --> 00:20:22,803
all over the world.

304
00:20:24,544 --> 00:20:26,134
- We'll have to tell them soon.

305
00:20:31,624 --> 00:20:32,934
Here, sit here.

306
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:47,061
Sophie, will you marry me?

307
00:20:48,321 --> 00:20:51,311
- If you pass the physical.

308
00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:57,859
- Come on.
(yelling and laughing)

309
00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:10,184
- Yes, sir, oh, I do understand, sir.

310
00:21:11,876 --> 00:21:12,736
Goodbye, sir.

311
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:19,345
- Sir, was it?
- Sir, it was.

312
00:21:19,352 --> 00:21:24,112
And joy of joys, Jones, we
have to go to the re-enactment.

313
00:21:25,733 --> 00:21:26,603
- We?
- We.

314
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,221
- [Dave] Hello, Tom.

315
00:21:29,216 --> 00:21:32,696
- Mr. Mayor, what can I do for you?

316
00:21:32,698 --> 00:21:34,608
- Well, I was just
wondering why your chief

317
00:21:34,607 --> 00:21:36,477
never comes along to anything I organise,

318
00:21:36,483 --> 00:21:37,873
always sends his underlings.

319
00:21:37,870 --> 00:21:39,290
- Probably because he
doesn't want to be seen

320
00:21:39,292 --> 00:21:40,912
with a cowboy builder.

321
00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,768
- You just never get it, do you?

322
00:21:44,773 --> 00:21:47,833
Never come to the party,
always out there in the cold.

323
00:21:47,825 --> 00:21:50,485
- What are you gonna do about my roof?

324
00:21:50,487 --> 00:21:51,957
- Hands are tied, Tom.

325
00:21:51,957 --> 00:21:53,777
Contracts, guarantees, accountants.

326
00:21:53,782 --> 00:21:55,272
'Course, if you knew how to shake a hand

327
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,673
and stand on one leg...

328
00:21:56,670 --> 00:21:59,630
- If you've got no official
business here, Mr. Mayor,

329
00:21:59,632 --> 00:22:01,872
would you please go away?

330
00:22:01,873 --> 00:22:04,743
- Right, well, I'll
see you at the do then.

331
00:22:04,743 --> 00:22:07,093
(laughing)

332
00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:15,600
(trumpet jazz music)
(plane engines roaring)

333
00:22:21,345 --> 00:22:25,645
- And here comes the red
baron, Manfred von Richthoffen,

334
00:22:25,653 --> 00:22:26,943
being chased through the skies

335
00:22:26,937 --> 00:22:29,537
by our own captain, Roy Brown.

336
00:22:34,717 --> 00:22:35,927
- (chuckles) How do I look?

337
00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:37,486
- Um, interesting.

338
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,245
- You can go now.

339
00:22:43,472 --> 00:22:46,952
(plane engines roaring)

340
00:22:56,223 --> 00:22:59,563
- Could this be curtains
for the Red Baron?

341
00:22:59,557 --> 00:23:00,767
There they go!

342
00:23:01,649 --> 00:23:03,129
Big cheer for our Jack.

343
00:23:03,128 --> 00:23:04,648
Hip hip!
- Hooray!

344
00:23:04,647 --> 00:23:08,637
(crowd cheering and clapping)

345
00:23:10,501 --> 00:23:12,121
- That's far too close to the crowd that.

346
00:23:12,118 --> 00:23:14,228
- Health and safety will have a fit.

347
00:23:19,362 --> 00:23:21,272
- Lionel, how goes it?

348
00:23:22,704 --> 00:23:23,574
- Watch this.

349
00:23:24,866 --> 00:23:26,136
(microphone feedback buzzing)

350
00:23:26,135 --> 00:23:30,155
- Oi!
- Stop that, you rascal, you.

351
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:31,919
- Keep up the good work.

352
00:23:31,918 --> 00:23:33,578
- The Midsomers always wore their lanyards

353
00:23:33,577 --> 00:23:37,287
on their right, never on the left.

354
00:23:37,288 --> 00:23:40,478
- What about their pink socks,

355
00:23:40,482 --> 00:23:42,422
which feet did they wear them on?

356
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,321
(laughing)

357
00:23:43,316 --> 00:23:46,766
- I know you, Ryan, Shankill Road.

358
00:23:46,770 --> 00:23:49,890
You were a disgrace then, no better now.

359
00:23:50,767 --> 00:23:51,707
Get out of my way!

360
00:23:56,363 --> 00:23:58,543
- See all this, North Meadow,

361
00:24:03,244 --> 00:24:05,944
the 30 acres.
- Oh, right, yeah!

362
00:24:07,622 --> 00:24:10,852
100 townhouses, easy!
- Very easy.

363
00:24:10,846 --> 00:24:13,276
- Looking right into the Hammonds garden.

364
00:24:13,276 --> 00:24:16,536
Um, profit and revenge all in one.

365
00:24:16,535 --> 00:24:17,945
(chuckles)

366
00:24:17,947 --> 00:24:19,857
Brilliant, dad, brilliant.

367
00:24:26,038 --> 00:24:29,468
- I've got them all on here.
- All what?

368
00:24:29,466 --> 00:24:31,366
- All the local women.

369
00:24:31,367 --> 00:24:34,767
I'll check the lot of them,
and I'll sniff yours out.

370
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:36,646
- You are losing the plot, Jude.

371
00:24:38,325 --> 00:24:41,265
- Hammonds been at the
dressing up box again, has she?

372
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:42,992
- Just shut up.
- What?

373
00:24:42,993 --> 00:24:44,423
- You're drunk and you're being an idiot.

374
00:24:44,421 --> 00:24:47,531
- Woo hoo, get him then!

375
00:24:53,321 --> 00:24:54,471
♪ When I was in the army, ♪

376
00:24:54,470 --> 00:24:56,800
♪ I was a calvary man you know ♪

377
00:24:56,798 --> 00:24:58,678
♪ And whenever I went on parade ♪

378
00:24:58,682 --> 00:25:00,662
♪ A magnificent picture I made ♪

379
00:25:00,655 --> 00:25:02,545
♪ With my galloping here
and my galloping there ♪

380
00:25:02,546 --> 00:25:04,626
♪ This ridiculous habit I've got ♪

381
00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:06,499
♪ And I'm damned if I don't
think I'm galloping now ♪

382
00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:08,751
♪ Whether I'm in the saddle or not ♪

383
00:25:08,749 --> 00:25:11,069
♪ And the people they stare at me so ♪

384
00:25:11,074 --> 00:25:13,764
♪ For it matters not where I may go. ♪

385
00:25:13,758 --> 00:25:17,428
♪ It's my bumperty,
bumperty, bumperty, bump ♪

386
00:25:17,429 --> 00:25:19,399
♪ As if I was riding my charger ♪

387
00:25:19,397 --> 00:25:21,827
♪ Bumperty, bumperty, bumperty, bump ♪

388
00:25:21,832 --> 00:25:25,922
♪ As fast as an Indian charger ♪

389
00:25:30,977 --> 00:25:32,807
- What's happening here then, eh?

390
00:25:32,814 --> 00:25:33,794
- Piss off, Danny.

391
00:25:33,794 --> 00:25:34,874
- It's a bloody Hammond!

392
00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,318
You gotta be kidding me!

393
00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:38,097
- Want me to break it?
- No.

394
00:25:39,247 --> 00:25:40,117
- On your bike.

395
00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:43,489
- You'll keep, you'll keep.

396
00:25:46,397 --> 00:25:48,367
- [Sophie] He's a little treasure.

397
00:25:48,373 --> 00:25:50,583
- Yeah, he's gonna be your brother-in-law.

398
00:25:50,575 --> 00:25:51,965
- Don't ruin it.

399
00:25:54,937 --> 00:25:56,977
♪ Bumperty, bumperty, bumperty, bumperty ♪

400
00:25:56,976 --> 00:25:58,946
♪ As bad as an Indian rajah ♪

401
00:25:58,952 --> 00:26:01,282
♪ All the girls declare ♪

402
00:26:01,284 --> 00:26:03,474
♪ That I'm a gay old stager ♪

403
00:26:03,466 --> 00:26:05,736
♪ Hey, hey, clear the way ♪

404
00:26:05,740 --> 00:26:09,220
♪ Here comes the galloping major. ♪

405
00:26:09,218 --> 00:26:11,068
(audience clapping)

406
00:26:11,073 --> 00:26:13,093
- That's a fine bit of woman.

407
00:26:13,088 --> 00:26:15,048
- Away team, Mickey.

408
00:26:15,054 --> 00:26:17,144
- Yeah, yeah, we'll see.

409
00:26:19,181 --> 00:26:22,561
That was really good.
- Thank you.

410
00:26:22,562 --> 00:26:24,652
- I was wondering, Kate.

411
00:26:26,388 --> 00:26:27,648
- What?

412
00:26:27,647 --> 00:26:29,627
- Oh, you're a great looking girl, see,

413
00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:34,341
so I was hoping that maybe
you might consider playing

414
00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:36,504
for the home team now and again.

415
00:26:36,504 --> 00:26:39,294
(men chuckling)

416
00:26:41,037 --> 00:26:43,377
(groaning)

417
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,760
- It is dawn on July the 1st, 1916.

418
00:26:52,393 --> 00:26:57,613
On this day, 58,000
British troops will die

419
00:26:59,348 --> 00:27:01,608
in the bloodiest day of our history.

420
00:27:03,769 --> 00:27:06,659
Amongst them were 88 members

421
00:27:06,657 --> 00:27:09,707
of our own Royal Midsomer Yeomanry.

422
00:27:10,891 --> 00:27:15,571
The day begins with the
artillery bombardment

423
00:27:15,573 --> 00:27:18,733
to get Johnny Hun to keep his head down.

424
00:27:22,580 --> 00:27:24,670
- Now watch it all go to hell.

425
00:27:24,665 --> 00:27:29,875
- At 5:00 a.m. precisely, a huge land mine

426
00:27:30,202 --> 00:27:32,542
planted directly under the enemy lines

427
00:27:32,537 --> 00:27:34,437
is the signal to attack.

428
00:27:38,851 --> 00:27:44,071
(explosions blasting)
(soldiers yelling)

429
00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:50,534
(guns banging)

430
00:28:08,013 --> 00:28:12,273
- Alas, the artillery fire
had had little effect,

431
00:28:13,714 --> 00:28:15,604
and the German machine gunners

432
00:28:15,599 --> 00:28:18,469
relentlessly mowed down our boys,

433
00:28:20,564 --> 00:28:24,214
who gave their lives for king and country.

434
00:28:25,088 --> 00:28:30,298
(machine guns firing)
(explosions blasting)

435
00:28:39,866 --> 00:28:42,906
(soldiers yelling)

436
00:28:51,255 --> 00:28:54,115
(birds chirping)

437
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:57,860
- Quite moving, really.

438
00:29:00,504 --> 00:29:02,464
- Fall in, come on.

439
00:29:02,463 --> 00:29:05,853
- That's it, fall in, fall in, come on!

440
00:29:07,990 --> 00:29:11,640
Royal Midsomers, by the left, quick march.

441
00:29:14,236 --> 00:29:16,836
Left, left, left, right, left.

442
00:29:18,164 --> 00:29:20,864
Left, left, that way, that way,

443
00:29:21,916 --> 00:29:23,996
left, right, left, left.

444
00:29:32,849 --> 00:29:33,719
- What?

445
00:29:36,620 --> 00:29:37,870
- Why did you marry dad?

446
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:44,390
- Oh, well, the Harcourts
were military as well,

447
00:29:44,385 --> 00:29:49,355
so it was a sort of
amalgamation of the regiments,

448
00:29:49,357 --> 00:29:51,297
a bit like the Surreys and the Midsomers.

449
00:29:51,301 --> 00:29:52,921
- But daddy doesn't like women.

450
00:29:55,138 --> 00:29:56,228
He's queer as a coot.

451
00:29:57,234 --> 00:30:00,884
- Well, obviously, he knew how
to do his duty by his family

452
00:30:00,884 --> 00:30:03,104
a couple of times at least.

453
00:30:03,102 --> 00:30:04,732
(scoffing)

454
00:30:04,731 --> 00:30:06,971
- God, no wonder you're
such a basket case.

455
00:30:08,548 --> 00:30:10,028
- Thank you, darling.

456
00:30:20,706 --> 00:30:23,446
Henry?
- Oh, thank you.

457
00:30:25,310 --> 00:30:27,400
(sighs)

458
00:30:29,819 --> 00:30:32,209
The whole family's going to hell.

459
00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:34,613
- Yes, Henry.

460
00:30:34,605 --> 00:30:39,815
- Sophie, is she a, is she a communist?

461
00:30:39,878 --> 00:30:41,978
- No, Henry, she's a social worker.

462
00:30:45,039 --> 00:30:48,029
- And Kate, what's wrong with her?

463
00:30:48,025 --> 00:30:51,535
Why does she, why does she,
why does she dress like that?

464
00:30:52,852 --> 00:30:54,392
- I can't imagine.

465
00:30:54,392 --> 00:30:57,272
- And Johnny, (chuckles)

466
00:30:58,525 --> 00:31:00,915
if it hadn't been for you and me,

467
00:31:00,923 --> 00:31:04,293
where would this whole
family be now, eh, Bella?

468
00:31:05,323 --> 00:31:07,963
Duty, that's what matters, duty.

469
00:31:19,435 --> 00:31:21,085
- Goodnight, Henry.

470
00:31:25,539 --> 00:31:27,629
(sighs)

471
00:31:33,003 --> 00:31:36,133
(suspenseful music)

472
00:32:04,819 --> 00:32:09,249
- [Mickey] Left, left,
left, right, left, and halt!

473
00:32:12,019 --> 00:32:17,229
Right, keep quiet, keep low, let's go.

474
00:32:31,203 --> 00:32:34,333
(suspenseful music)

475
00:32:59,505 --> 00:33:02,365
(Henry mumbling)

476
00:33:09,026 --> 00:33:11,456
(whistling)

477
00:33:30,151 --> 00:33:32,241
- Royal Midsomers, halt!

478
00:33:34,446 --> 00:33:37,766
Squad, take up positions.

479
00:33:43,126 --> 00:33:45,986
(dramatic music)

480
00:33:48,611 --> 00:33:52,991
Henry Hammond, you have been found guilty

481
00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:56,561
of cowardice and desertion
in the face of the enemy.

482
00:33:58,309 --> 00:34:01,009
It is the verdict of this court martial

483
00:34:01,009 --> 00:34:03,119
that you be executed by firing squad.

484
00:34:05,107 --> 00:34:06,407
Have you anything to say?

485
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,979
(Henry mumbling)

486
00:34:10,978 --> 00:34:12,408
- So sorry, sir.

487
00:34:14,460 --> 00:34:17,630
Final words, general?

488
00:34:17,630 --> 00:34:20,610
- You miserable little oik.

489
00:34:21,738 --> 00:34:24,098
I'll have the lot of you for assault.

490
00:34:26,094 --> 00:34:30,844
- But you'll be dead, sir,
just like Tommy Hicks was dead.

491
00:34:31,957 --> 00:34:34,287
- Do you really think
I'm gonna intimidated

492
00:34:34,293 --> 00:34:37,383
by a pathetic bunch of drunken bank clerks

493
00:34:37,379 --> 00:34:40,399
and a cocky corporal, do you?

494
00:34:40,403 --> 00:34:43,873
You're nothing, Ryan, nothing but a tick.

495
00:34:45,147 --> 00:34:47,597
Now undo my arms, I'll knock you down.

496
00:34:47,598 --> 00:34:49,128
- Firing squad, 'shun.

497
00:34:53,343 --> 00:34:56,463
Oh, come on, look, he's had
it coming to him for ages.

498
00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:58,121
Take aim, take aim.

499
00:35:02,654 --> 00:35:04,004
Take aim!

500
00:35:03,998 --> 00:35:06,688
(guns cocking)

501
00:35:08,379 --> 00:35:09,519
Say goodbye, general.

502
00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:16,918
Fire!
(guns blasting)

503
00:35:16,917 --> 00:35:20,047
(suspenseful music)

504
00:35:23,824 --> 00:35:29,044
Now you know how it feels.

505
00:35:29,136 --> 00:35:31,476
(laughing)

506
00:35:33,169 --> 00:35:35,889
- Pathetic bunch, all of you.

507
00:35:35,885 --> 00:35:38,195
Come on, take me home!

508
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:39,710
- To hell with you.

509
00:35:39,705 --> 00:35:41,205
Come on, let's go.

510
00:35:42,142 --> 00:35:45,762
Right turn, quick march.

511
00:35:45,763 --> 00:35:49,803
Left, right, left, right, left.

512
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,070
Left, right.
- He's got a lotta balls.

513
00:35:53,067 --> 00:35:55,067
- Ah, shut up!

514
00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:57,680
Left, right, left, left, left.

515
00:36:04,137 --> 00:36:06,657
(twig snaps)

516
00:36:08,191 --> 00:36:09,411
- Who's there?

517
00:36:16,607 --> 00:36:18,337
(gun cocks)

518
00:36:18,336 --> 00:36:19,316
What do you want?

519
00:36:19,317 --> 00:36:21,997
(gun bangs)

520
00:36:22,002 --> 00:36:25,702
(milk cans clattering)

521
00:36:25,695 --> 00:36:29,075
(truck engine roaring)

522
00:36:30,943 --> 00:36:34,253
(wheelchair whirring)

523
00:36:50,660 --> 00:36:54,310
(crashing and clattering)

524
00:37:08,870 --> 00:37:10,820
- George.
- I don't know what happened.

525
00:37:10,821 --> 00:37:11,691
I don't know.

526
00:37:13,337 --> 00:37:15,177
Just doing me usual milk round.

527
00:37:15,183 --> 00:37:18,953
I know Hammond Hill's tricky,
so I was being extra careful.

528
00:37:18,948 --> 00:37:19,828
- [Barnaby] This is Mr. Bullard.

529
00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:22,253
- Right down the middle
of the road he come.

530
00:37:22,252 --> 00:37:25,792
I swerved, but then he
turned right back into me.

531
00:37:25,794 --> 00:37:27,534
- He turned his chair?
- Aye.

532
00:37:28,446 --> 00:37:30,306
Deliberately come into me.

533
00:37:30,312 --> 00:37:31,952
- I doubt that.

534
00:37:31,946 --> 00:37:34,316
- Well, it's the truth.

535
00:37:34,316 --> 00:37:35,986
- Very difficult to operate a wheelchair

536
00:37:35,985 --> 00:37:38,015
when someone's shot half your head off.

537
00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:42,110
(gagging)

538
00:37:43,501 --> 00:37:45,901
- Were you born sensitive, George?

539
00:37:45,903 --> 00:37:48,203
Or did you develop the
skill over the years?

540
00:38:03,955 --> 00:38:05,235
- Who is that?

541
00:38:05,243 --> 00:38:08,783
- Derek Watson, sir, found
him singing in a ditch.

542
00:38:08,778 --> 00:38:10,268
Interesting story though.

543
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:15,871
- It was a joke.

544
00:38:15,868 --> 00:38:18,278
We just thought we'd
freak the old bugger out.

545
00:38:18,284 --> 00:38:20,554
- But it didn't work.
- No.

546
00:38:21,426 --> 00:38:24,596
He wasn't a person, he was a bloody tank.

547
00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:28,000
He knew we wouldn't kill him,

548
00:38:28,002 --> 00:38:30,702
and he wasn't in the least
bit frightened by us.

549
00:38:30,703 --> 00:38:35,363
- So it all backfired?
- Aye, a crazy idea.

550
00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:36,667
Looked good when we'd had a few pints,

551
00:38:36,670 --> 00:38:38,800
but we didn't kill him.

552
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:41,880
You've been through us all.

553
00:38:41,884 --> 00:38:42,754
We're not a hit squad.

554
00:38:42,752 --> 00:38:44,112
We're just a bunch of ejits.

555
00:38:49,006 --> 00:38:49,866
What?

556
00:38:51,258 --> 00:38:53,008
- Your friends maybe as moronic

557
00:38:53,010 --> 00:38:56,090
as you say they are,
Mickey, but you are not.

558
00:38:57,361 --> 00:38:59,761
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.

559
00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:02,416
You leave the folly and lo,

560
00:39:02,415 --> 00:39:04,295
someone who just happens to have a gun,

561
00:39:04,302 --> 00:39:07,252
happens to be passing by and shoots Henry.

562
00:39:07,253 --> 00:39:09,053
How very fortunate for them?

563
00:39:09,046 --> 00:39:11,006
- It was a coincidence!

564
00:39:11,010 --> 00:39:13,040
They must have followed us, or...

565
00:39:16,139 --> 00:39:17,289
- Would you excuse us?

566
00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:37,800
What do you think?
- I don't know.

567
00:39:37,804 --> 00:39:40,604
- Well, it's no way to
plan a murder, is it?

568
00:39:40,599 --> 00:39:43,609
Bunch of drunken yobs, obscure location,

569
00:39:43,612 --> 00:39:44,662
plenty of witnesses.

570
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,520
Mickey, you told someone, didn't you?

571
00:39:58,054 --> 00:40:00,124
And they piggy backed on your plans.

572
00:40:00,118 --> 00:40:01,368
Who was it, Mickey?

573
00:40:01,366 --> 00:40:03,656
Who did you tell about
your little game, eh?

574
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,430
- Just me mates there.
- Apart from your mates.

575
00:40:07,428 --> 00:40:10,288
Who else could have known,
could have overheard something?

576
00:40:10,287 --> 00:40:11,697
- Well, anyone.

577
00:40:11,702 --> 00:40:14,822
The guys might have told
their wives, whatever.

578
00:40:14,817 --> 00:40:18,237
It was just a joke, it wasn't
bloody world war three.

579
00:40:22,943 --> 00:40:24,773
- Okay, Mickey, get out.

580
00:40:26,599 --> 00:40:28,479
You're still a suspect.
- Yes, sir.

581
00:40:30,055 --> 00:40:33,175
- So, who didn't like Henry Hammond?

582
00:40:34,705 --> 00:40:39,085
- Half the county, but let's
start with his natural enemies.

583
00:40:39,093 --> 00:40:42,133
(doorbell ringing)

584
00:40:44,235 --> 00:40:47,915
- Oh, Mr. Barnaby, it's tragic, isn't it?

585
00:40:47,916 --> 00:40:51,526
- Yes, yes it is, very tragic.

586
00:40:51,534 --> 00:40:54,324
- Tragic, the way when
anything happens to a Hammond,

587
00:40:54,322 --> 00:40:55,402
the police are around here

588
00:40:55,403 --> 00:40:58,443
faster than you can say hide the silver.

589
00:40:58,437 --> 00:41:01,217
- Mrs. Hicks, I am pursuing
normal lines of inquiry.

590
00:41:01,221 --> 00:41:02,641
- For the so called gentry

591
00:41:02,636 --> 00:41:04,806
who obviously have you in their pocket.

592
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:09,520
- [Barnaby] Mrs. Hicks,
would you mind telling me

593
00:41:09,521 --> 00:41:11,291
where were you last night, please?

594
00:41:12,712 --> 00:41:13,702
- We were all here.

595
00:41:15,298 --> 00:41:19,158
- I was asleep in my study.
- In your study?

596
00:41:20,449 --> 00:41:24,309
- He snores, so I sent him to his study.

597
00:41:24,307 --> 00:41:26,037
- So you were out and about, were you?

598
00:41:26,038 --> 00:41:27,858
- Well, only for about ten minutes.

599
00:41:27,862 --> 00:41:30,902
Then I could still hear him
snoring through the floor.

600
00:41:30,897 --> 00:41:32,937
It's the cheese that does it.

601
00:41:32,940 --> 00:41:34,250
He eats it last thing.

602
00:41:36,373 --> 00:41:38,043
(foosball rolling)

603
00:41:38,043 --> 00:41:39,613
- And where were you?
- What?

604
00:41:40,697 --> 00:41:44,127
- Would you give that a rest, please?

605
00:41:44,129 --> 00:41:44,999
Thank you.

606
00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:46,938
Where were you?

607
00:41:49,572 --> 00:41:53,972
- In my bed, on my own.

608
00:41:53,972 --> 00:41:55,602
- I checked on him, too,

609
00:41:55,598 --> 00:41:58,338
just to tuck him in.
- Mum!

610
00:42:02,629 --> 00:42:04,449
(door closing)

611
00:42:04,451 --> 00:42:05,321
- So,

612
00:42:11,927 --> 00:42:13,467
where were you?

613
00:42:13,470 --> 00:42:16,230
- I was just having a
walk, clear my head a bit.

614
00:42:16,234 --> 00:42:18,534
- You were seeing your tart.

615
00:42:18,528 --> 00:42:20,698
- Jude, there is no tart.

616
00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:23,585
- I'll go public.

617
00:42:23,585 --> 00:42:25,375
- Jude.
- Take you apart.

618
00:42:26,327 --> 00:42:30,067
You think I don't read those
papers you give me to sign.

619
00:42:30,070 --> 00:42:32,810
You think I don't know
what you've put in my name.

620
00:42:32,813 --> 00:42:34,523
- Darling!

621
00:42:34,523 --> 00:42:36,513
- You think you'll get any of it back?

622
00:42:37,713 --> 00:42:40,163
- Jude, that is my operating capital.

623
00:42:40,157 --> 00:42:41,157
- Mine now.

624
00:42:42,698 --> 00:42:47,508
And when I find your slut,
I'll have all your money

625
00:42:47,505 --> 00:42:49,315
and you'll be in the slammer thinking,

626
00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:53,036
"What a silly boy I was for
cheating on my lovely wife."

627
00:42:54,178 --> 00:42:55,938
- But you are my lovely wife!

628
00:42:56,816 --> 00:43:01,376
I love only you, genuinely, honestly.

629
00:43:04,939 --> 00:43:05,809
- Oh.

630
00:43:08,713 --> 00:43:09,903
Really, Davey?

631
00:43:11,935 --> 00:43:12,835
- Really, Judy.

632
00:43:15,345 --> 00:43:17,075
- Now isn't that nice?

633
00:43:22,389 --> 00:43:25,169
(phone ringing)

634
00:43:29,763 --> 00:43:30,633
(door closing)

635
00:43:30,632 --> 00:43:33,852
- Martin!
- I was ringing about Henry.

636
00:43:34,927 --> 00:43:35,797
- Yes?

637
00:43:37,002 --> 00:43:38,662
- Nothing to do with you, is it?

638
00:43:38,655 --> 00:43:39,945
- Martin!

639
00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:42,333
- Well, it puts you one step closer.

640
00:43:42,330 --> 00:43:43,360
- Just shut up!

641
00:43:44,709 --> 00:43:47,579
(dramatic music)

642
00:44:10,202 --> 00:44:12,982
(quiet sobbing)

643
00:44:19,381 --> 00:44:21,551
- Oh, Dickens.
- Munsters.

644
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,350
- My wife has a few problems

645
00:44:35,352 --> 00:44:38,642
in the emotional stability area.

646
00:44:38,636 --> 00:44:40,246
Something like this tends to...

647
00:44:41,577 --> 00:44:43,027
Maybe we should go to the study.

648
00:44:43,028 --> 00:44:44,328
- Yeah, please.

649
00:44:47,747 --> 00:44:49,757
You go talk to the Hammond daughters.

650
00:44:55,216 --> 00:44:56,486
- I suppose you wanna
know where we all were

651
00:44:56,488 --> 00:44:58,958
at the time of the murder.
- Yes, sir.

652
00:45:02,452 --> 00:45:04,712
(sobbing)

653
00:45:11,576 --> 00:45:14,136
- So you and your wife
have separate bedrooms.

654
00:45:15,601 --> 00:45:18,421
- Mr. Barnaby, please don't be so coy.

655
00:45:18,416 --> 00:45:19,696
This is a small community,

656
00:45:19,698 --> 00:45:23,448
and my proclivities are
not exactly unknown.

657
00:45:24,610 --> 00:45:28,930
- I, I, I was not aware, and
you do have two daughters.

658
00:45:28,926 --> 00:45:31,646
- The facts are not mutually exclusive.

659
00:45:31,648 --> 00:45:34,128
Maybe you should read a little more.

660
00:45:34,129 --> 00:45:37,069
- So how were you getting
on with your late father?

661
00:45:38,133 --> 00:45:40,203
- My father was real army,

662
00:45:41,571 --> 00:45:44,951
the last in a long line of
stalwart Hammond warriors.

663
00:45:46,892 --> 00:45:50,872
I was his worst nightmare, and he mine.

664
00:45:54,222 --> 00:45:55,472
- Well, if you really must know,

665
00:45:55,474 --> 00:45:58,504
around that time I was having
a bit of a serious snog.

666
00:45:58,498 --> 00:46:00,888
- Can I have the gentleman's name?

667
00:46:00,885 --> 00:46:03,035
- The gentleman's name was Caroline.

668
00:46:03,044 --> 00:46:03,924
- Caroline!

669
00:46:06,161 --> 00:46:08,301
Oh right, right, right.

670
00:46:09,953 --> 00:46:12,543
Well, I apologise for assuming...

671
00:46:13,647 --> 00:46:14,707
(clearing throat)

672
00:46:14,705 --> 00:46:16,825
- Look, you really
should talk to my mother.

673
00:46:16,828 --> 00:46:19,438
She holds the keys to this family.

674
00:46:19,435 --> 00:46:22,025
She knows what goes on
behind the closed doors.

675
00:46:22,032 --> 00:46:23,742
That's why she's such a mess.

676
00:46:23,742 --> 00:46:24,882
- Mrs. Hammond?

677
00:46:24,878 --> 00:46:27,508
I'm sorry, I know this
is probably not the time

678
00:46:27,506 --> 00:46:29,376
to be asking tedious questions.

679
00:46:29,383 --> 00:46:32,583
But, you know, the longer a
suspect goes unapprehended,

680
00:46:32,584 --> 00:46:34,124
the more likely he is to...

681
00:46:36,338 --> 00:46:38,658
Then again, if you don't feel up to...

682
00:46:38,663 --> 00:46:41,373
- No, no, no, no, no, it's
all right, I'm all right.

683
00:46:42,437 --> 00:46:45,307
What, what do you want to know?

684
00:46:45,305 --> 00:46:47,985
- Are you sure?
- Yes, for God's sake.

685
00:46:47,985 --> 00:46:50,975
Henry dealt in certainties,
and now he is certainly dead.

686
00:46:52,270 --> 00:46:55,710
We will mourn for him
when the enemy is routed.

687
00:46:55,711 --> 00:46:58,171
- Is there an enemy, Mrs. Hammond?

688
00:46:58,172 --> 00:46:59,892
- Well, he didn't blow
his own head off, did he?

689
00:46:59,892 --> 00:47:03,222
- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
you meant a specific enemy.

690
00:47:03,224 --> 00:47:06,584
- Well, yes, I do, the Hickses.

691
00:47:06,583 --> 00:47:11,393
This is what they exist for,
to make our lives a wasteland.

692
00:47:13,468 --> 00:47:15,758
- You were very close
to your father-in-law?

693
00:47:18,829 --> 00:47:19,869
- Loved him,

694
00:47:21,576 --> 00:47:22,446
hated him.

695
00:47:24,475 --> 00:47:25,425
Love, hate,

696
00:47:29,613 --> 00:47:34,253
what's the difference, Mr. Barnaby?

697
00:47:34,252 --> 00:47:36,162
What's the difference?

698
00:47:51,541 --> 00:47:54,071
- Your whereabouts last
night, Miss Hammond?

699
00:47:54,071 --> 00:47:56,211
- [Sophie] I was having
my portrait painted.

700
00:47:57,147 --> 00:47:58,137
- [Jones] All night?

701
00:47:58,138 --> 00:48:00,148
- [Sophie] Except for
when I was having sex.

702
00:48:00,150 --> 00:48:01,440
- With a man?
- What?

703
00:48:02,392 --> 00:48:05,602
- Sorry, I'm sorry, no, no, I was-

704
00:48:05,604 --> 00:48:07,724
- Talking to my sister.
- Yeah.

705
00:48:09,295 --> 00:48:13,375
Your grandfather--
- Was a bore and a bully.

706
00:48:13,382 --> 00:48:14,572
- And who did he bully?'

707
00:48:14,571 --> 00:48:18,841
- Everyone, my parents, my
dark side of the moon sister.

708
00:48:19,899 --> 00:48:22,459
They didn't do all that damage
to themselves, you know?

709
00:48:22,464 --> 00:48:24,514
- But would anyone have wanted him killed?

710
00:48:24,508 --> 00:48:25,728
- Well, obviously, someone did.

711
00:48:25,728 --> 00:48:29,638
- A Hicks, perhaps?
- I do hope not.

712
00:48:29,638 --> 00:48:31,878
I'd hate to marry into
a family of murders.

713
00:48:33,142 --> 00:48:35,442
- Marry?
- Yes.

714
00:48:35,436 --> 00:48:36,786
I'm marrying Will Hicks.

715
00:48:38,324 --> 00:48:41,674
- And how will that go down
with your respected families?

716
00:48:41,671 --> 00:48:43,821
- I don't care, Mr. Jones.

717
00:48:43,819 --> 00:48:46,989
I've never been part of
this idiotic vendetta.

718
00:48:46,989 --> 00:48:48,159
Now, anything else?

719
00:48:48,157 --> 00:48:50,397
I do have half of
Eastern Europe out there.

720
00:48:54,494 --> 00:48:57,624
(children shouting)

721
00:49:00,273 --> 00:49:01,923
- I'll miss him.

722
00:49:01,921 --> 00:49:05,161
Bugging Henry gave me
something worth living for.

723
00:49:05,163 --> 00:49:07,073
Might as well croak myself now.

724
00:49:07,072 --> 00:49:09,802
- Oh, come on, Lionel,
there's no need for that.

725
00:49:09,803 --> 00:49:11,163
What about Biddy?

726
00:49:11,159 --> 00:49:12,559
- Ah, she's a nutter.

727
00:49:12,555 --> 00:49:13,955
You don't wanna listen to her.

728
00:49:13,964 --> 00:49:16,794
She talks cobblers from
breakfast to dinner.

729
00:49:16,790 --> 00:49:18,460
I'm only in there for the sex.

730
00:49:19,595 --> 00:49:21,775
She's very--
- Right, thank you, Lionel.

731
00:49:24,078 --> 00:49:26,488
- Oh, so you could have left
without her noticing, too?

732
00:49:26,487 --> 00:49:28,627
- Doubt it, she doesn't miss a thing.

733
00:49:30,251 --> 00:49:33,061
- She's very different from her sister.

734
00:49:33,056 --> 00:49:35,566
- I can't believe they're
from the same stock.

735
00:49:35,569 --> 00:49:38,089
- But you're very different
from your brother, too.

736
00:49:38,978 --> 00:49:40,748
- There's no accounting, is there?

737
00:49:44,630 --> 00:49:46,880
- Keep pushing, keep
pushing, go on, Johnny.

738
00:49:46,879 --> 00:49:49,399
A straight left right and then finish.

739
00:49:49,398 --> 00:49:52,788
Good work, good work.
- Okay, thank you.

740
00:49:55,570 --> 00:49:58,520
(boxing punching)

741
00:50:25,580 --> 00:50:28,560
- You know, Simon, ever
since my father died

742
00:50:28,559 --> 00:50:33,169
I feel as though a great
weight has been lifted off.

743
00:50:33,168 --> 00:50:34,038
- Mm-hmm.

744
00:50:36,193 --> 00:50:38,273
- He never understood me.

745
00:50:38,267 --> 00:50:39,777
- Oh, I think he did, Johnny.

746
00:50:44,169 --> 00:50:46,049
- [Johnny] What the hell are you doing?

747
00:50:46,046 --> 00:50:47,666
- Rubbing you up the wrong way.

748
00:50:49,099 --> 00:50:51,099
- What do you want?
- A chat.

749
00:50:51,103 --> 00:50:52,113
- [Johnny] About what?

750
00:50:52,114 --> 00:50:54,884
- The unpublished codicil
to your grandfather's will.

751
00:50:56,994 --> 00:50:58,644
- Don't know what you're talking about.

752
00:50:58,641 --> 00:51:00,831
- Your grandad Duggie decreed

753
00:51:00,831 --> 00:51:02,991
that when the Hammond
family trust wraps up,

754
00:51:02,990 --> 00:51:05,600
then your North Meadow
comes to the Hickses.

755
00:51:05,596 --> 00:51:06,896
I wonder why he did that?

756
00:51:07,869 --> 00:51:10,919
- He was disturbed.
- He was guilt-ridden.

757
00:51:12,218 --> 00:51:14,988
Anyway, if my family's
gonna get the meadow

758
00:51:14,991 --> 00:51:18,091
for free one day, why don't
you and I do a little deal now

759
00:51:18,085 --> 00:51:20,485
and you can cup yourself a tidy sum today?

760
00:51:20,486 --> 00:51:22,446
- Sell Hammond land to a Hicks?

761
00:51:23,437 --> 00:51:27,117
So you can do some dodgy
deal and build all over it?

762
00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:28,958
How stupid do you think I am?

763
00:51:30,882 --> 00:51:31,882
Get out of here.

764
00:51:34,002 --> 00:51:36,322
- The times, they are a-changing Johnny.

765
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,100
The servant shall be the master.

766
00:51:40,352 --> 00:51:43,182
(water sloshing)

767
00:51:43,179 --> 00:51:44,139
- Well done, Nick.

768
00:51:46,012 --> 00:51:46,942
- That was quick.

769
00:51:49,069 --> 00:51:50,789
- They didn't even have to dive.

770
00:51:50,787 --> 00:51:52,497
It was six feet from the edge.

771
00:51:52,497 --> 00:51:53,917
- How deep is it there?

772
00:51:53,915 --> 00:51:55,435
- 18 inches.

773
00:51:55,438 --> 00:51:56,468
- How deep in the middle?

774
00:51:56,470 --> 00:51:58,610
- 25 feet.

775
00:51:58,608 --> 00:52:00,638
He wanted us to find it.

776
00:52:00,641 --> 00:52:01,991
- What is it?

777
00:52:01,993 --> 00:52:05,663
- .455 service revolver,
issued about 1916.

778
00:52:06,563 --> 00:52:08,673
- And how do you know that, Mr. Bullard?

779
00:52:08,670 --> 00:52:11,400
- My belief in the great
circle of life, Tom.

780
00:52:11,402 --> 00:52:13,952
What goes around, comes around.

781
00:52:13,947 --> 00:52:16,167
(laughing)

782
00:52:16,170 --> 00:52:17,040
- What?

783
00:52:18,521 --> 00:52:21,371
- Married, Sophie and
I are getting married.

784
00:52:21,365 --> 00:52:23,375
- I told you, didn't I tell you?

785
00:52:23,380 --> 00:52:25,050
- But she's a Hammond.

786
00:52:25,047 --> 00:52:28,127
- Traitor, you total traitor.

787
00:52:28,127 --> 00:52:31,857
- She's having you on, she'll
leave you crying at the altar.

788
00:52:31,860 --> 00:52:33,720
- Hmm, thanks, mom.

789
00:52:34,811 --> 00:52:35,681
Grandad?

790
00:52:35,679 --> 00:52:38,169
- Go for it, son.
- Dad!

791
00:52:38,168 --> 00:52:39,518
- Well, they love each other.

792
00:52:39,524 --> 00:52:40,824
History's history.

793
00:52:40,817 --> 00:52:42,977
It's all bloody rubbish anyway, isn't it?

794
00:52:42,975 --> 00:52:44,305
- You've changed your tune.

795
00:52:44,310 --> 00:52:47,610
- No, it was fun, but
it ain't anymore, is it?

796
00:52:47,605 --> 00:52:50,575
Not since Henry got killed.
- Dave?

797
00:52:53,329 --> 00:52:54,439
Say something.

798
00:52:58,407 --> 00:52:59,887
- I've gotta send some emails.

799
00:53:05,984 --> 00:53:08,404
(printer whirring)

800
00:53:08,396 --> 00:53:11,556
- Looks like Bullard was
surprisingly correct.

801
00:53:11,556 --> 00:53:14,666
Regulation service revolver
issued to Duggie Hammond

802
00:53:14,673 --> 00:53:16,973
in the September of 1915.

803
00:53:18,312 --> 00:53:21,002
- So it seems likely that
the same gun was used

804
00:53:21,003 --> 00:53:24,403
to finish off Tommy Hicks, very poetic.

805
00:53:24,402 --> 00:53:27,842
- Gun was reported stolen from
the Hammonds five years ago.

806
00:53:27,843 --> 00:53:29,333
Danny Hicks was questioned

807
00:53:29,334 --> 00:53:30,844
because he already had juvenile form

808
00:53:30,835 --> 00:53:33,765
and his prints were found
all over the gun cabinet,

809
00:53:33,765 --> 00:53:35,145
but nothing came of it.

810
00:53:36,247 --> 00:53:37,897
- Why was that?

811
00:53:37,898 --> 00:53:40,618
- Looks like the Hammonds
didn't press charges.

812
00:53:40,621 --> 00:53:41,491
- Well, you'd think that the Hammonds

813
00:53:41,490 --> 00:53:44,440
would leap at the chance to
nobble a Hicks, wouldn't you?

814
00:53:44,443 --> 00:53:45,313
Keep digging.

815
00:53:51,676 --> 00:53:53,716
- Where's he gone?

816
00:53:53,723 --> 00:53:56,983
- God knows, he does that sometimes.

817
00:54:00,970 --> 00:54:02,680
- [Doctor] There you are, Biddy.

818
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:03,800
Now get this to a chemist,

819
00:54:03,795 --> 00:54:05,875
and make sure you take the whole course.

820
00:54:07,414 --> 00:54:09,004
Hello, Tom.

821
00:54:08,995 --> 00:54:09,855
- What's the matter?

822
00:54:09,864 --> 00:54:11,184
Is the door stuck?

823
00:54:11,178 --> 00:54:14,808
- Biddy likes to be
treated through the window.

824
00:54:14,811 --> 00:54:18,131
- Let a doctor in the house
and you're on your way out.

825
00:54:18,126 --> 00:54:19,046
- What about police officers, Biddy?

826
00:54:19,047 --> 00:54:20,287
Are they allowed in?

827
00:54:21,350 --> 00:54:24,010
- Just don't nick anything.
- Thank you.

828
00:54:25,156 --> 00:54:27,496
(laughing)

829
00:54:28,675 --> 00:54:31,365
(cats meowing)

830
00:54:36,205 --> 00:54:37,765
- That smells adequately revolting.

831
00:54:37,767 --> 00:54:40,407
- It's not for eating, it's for feet.

832
00:54:40,405 --> 00:54:41,475
- Oh, for feet, is it?

833
00:54:41,481 --> 00:54:43,221
Well, I'm very glad.

834
00:54:43,220 --> 00:54:45,050
- So what do you want?

835
00:54:45,045 --> 00:54:46,775
- Hammond.
- Henry?

836
00:54:46,783 --> 00:54:47,713
Well, he'd dead.

837
00:54:47,707 --> 00:54:49,827
- No, Duggie Hammond, Henry's father.

838
00:54:49,831 --> 00:54:51,171
- Oh, dead a long time.

839
00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:53,356
- Yeah, I know he's dead, he died in 1935.

840
00:54:54,410 --> 00:54:55,720
- Well, I never knew him.

841
00:54:55,722 --> 00:54:57,252
How old do you think I am?

842
00:54:57,245 --> 00:54:59,545
- But your mum knew him.
- But not me.

843
00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:01,266
- No, not you.
- No, not me, no.

844
00:55:02,761 --> 00:55:04,561
- Did she ever mention him?

845
00:55:04,564 --> 00:55:07,094
- She said he was sensitive.

846
00:55:10,136 --> 00:55:14,566
- And what killed Duggie Hammond
so early in his life then?

847
00:55:14,574 --> 00:55:17,704
- Oh, he was a right old worry bags.

848
00:55:17,703 --> 00:55:21,163
Guilt, my mum said, over
what he done to Tommy.

849
00:55:21,164 --> 00:55:23,234
Oh, he spent all the time in church

850
00:55:23,229 --> 00:55:27,279
praying for forgiveness and
promising to make amends.

851
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:28,982
- And did he?
- What?

852
00:55:28,977 --> 00:55:30,497
- Make amends.

853
00:55:30,503 --> 00:55:31,643
- He looked after his family.

854
00:55:31,644 --> 00:55:32,934
- What does that mean?

855
00:55:33,979 --> 00:55:38,829
- Oh, don't ask me, I'm
just a daft old witch.

856
00:55:38,828 --> 00:55:41,298
Ask anybody, they'll tell you.,

857
00:55:41,296 --> 00:55:45,736
Biddy Dixon, fiddle-de-dee,
daft as a brush.

858
00:55:45,739 --> 00:55:48,089
(laughing)

859
00:55:50,663 --> 00:55:53,213
- So that's congratulations, Soph.

860
00:55:53,207 --> 00:55:54,977
We're all so happy for you, is it?

861
00:56:00,506 --> 00:56:01,436
- You are kidding?

862
00:56:03,008 --> 00:56:04,708
- No.

863
00:56:04,705 --> 00:56:05,975
- But Will's a Hicks.

864
00:56:06,887 --> 00:56:08,137
- Yes, daddy, well done.

865
00:56:09,056 --> 00:56:11,116
- I bet he wants a dowry.

866
00:56:11,116 --> 00:56:11,986
The Hickses always want something of ours,

867
00:56:11,985 --> 00:56:13,645
our land, our money.

868
00:56:13,654 --> 00:56:15,784
- We haven't got any money.

869
00:56:15,782 --> 00:56:17,002
My God, even with grandpa dead,

870
00:56:17,002 --> 00:56:20,042
we don't get anything until
you fall off your perch.

871
00:56:20,036 --> 00:56:22,696
And what is the point in
land if you can't flog it?

872
00:56:29,191 --> 00:56:31,041
- Mummy?
- Hmm?

873
00:56:31,036 --> 00:56:33,476
- What do you think?
- About what?

874
00:56:34,498 --> 00:56:36,788
- Can you join us for a minute?

875
00:56:36,792 --> 00:56:39,012
Me marrying Will Hicks.

876
00:56:39,013 --> 00:56:44,233
- Oh, um, I, I, I think
it's terribly amusing.

877
00:56:44,338 --> 00:56:46,678
(laughing)

878
00:56:50,420 --> 00:56:51,830
I'm so sorry, please excuse me.

879
00:56:51,828 --> 00:56:53,768
It's been a very stressful week.

880
00:56:53,766 --> 00:56:56,106
(laughing)

881
00:57:05,381 --> 00:57:08,451
- Could you pass the salt, please?

882
00:57:08,448 --> 00:57:11,578
(suspenseful music)

883
00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:37,844
(light switch clicks)

884
00:58:07,886 --> 00:58:11,096
(car engine roaring)

885
00:58:15,345 --> 00:58:18,815
(door opens and closes)

886
00:59:01,684 --> 00:59:03,074
- Who'd have thought, eh?

887
00:59:03,074 --> 00:59:05,314
Dave Hicks and Bella Hammond.

888
00:59:05,311 --> 00:59:06,181
(chuckles)

889
00:59:06,180 --> 00:59:08,440
25 years, you know, next week.

890
00:59:08,444 --> 00:59:10,164
- Thank god for small Thorazines.

891
00:59:12,594 --> 00:59:17,144
- So what we going to do
about this wedding then?

892
00:59:17,137 --> 00:59:18,257
- Let it pass.

893
00:59:19,538 --> 00:59:21,718
Most first marriages are a mistake.

894
00:59:22,937 --> 00:59:24,607
- That's not quite what I meant.

895
00:59:26,159 --> 00:59:29,419
I mean, let's face it, they
are brother and sister.

896
00:59:29,417 --> 00:59:32,017
(drink spews)

897
00:59:35,335 --> 00:59:36,845
- What are you talking about?

898
00:59:38,234 --> 00:59:42,304
- 25 years ago, your Johnny's
playing soldiers in the sauna,

899
00:59:42,301 --> 00:59:43,901
you're coming to me for your jollies.

900
00:59:43,896 --> 00:59:46,306
So who's the father of your girls?

901
00:59:46,305 --> 00:59:47,445
His worship the mayor.

902
00:59:51,617 --> 00:59:53,107
What?

903
00:59:53,113 --> 00:59:56,133
- Well, Johnny might
have an alarming penchant

904
00:59:56,127 --> 00:59:59,287
for the other ranks, but
he has always understood

905
00:59:59,286 --> 01:00:01,766
the meaning of the word duty,

906
01:00:01,768 --> 01:00:04,078
however distasteful he may have found it.

907
01:00:10,245 --> 01:00:13,945
- Well, pity, thought we
might one day, you know,

908
01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,415
legitimise the position.

909
01:00:18,483 --> 01:00:21,223
- Me, with you?

910
01:00:22,345 --> 01:00:24,765
- Well, once you'd elbowed Johnny.

911
01:00:24,767 --> 01:00:27,107
(laughing)

912
01:00:32,316 --> 01:00:37,436
- David, David, I picked you
for my occasional indulgence

913
01:00:37,439 --> 01:00:40,719
because it appealed to a
certain perversity within me.

914
01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:44,274
When having sex with
you, I like to imagine

915
01:00:44,269 --> 01:00:47,369
how deeply horrified the
Hammond clan would be.

916
01:00:48,460 --> 01:00:53,310
But believe me, otherwise
it was pure farmyard.

917
01:00:53,309 --> 01:00:54,389
Nothing else at all.

918
01:01:02,342 --> 01:01:06,522
- Bloody Hammonds, think
you're so superior.

919
01:01:07,427 --> 01:01:08,907
- Because we are.

920
01:01:08,908 --> 01:01:11,898
- Well, why don't you
find another stand-in

921
01:01:11,901 --> 01:01:14,561
for your faggy husband, if you can?

922
01:01:14,559 --> 01:01:16,289
Take a look in there, Lady Macbeth.

923
01:01:16,290 --> 01:01:18,430
That's no spring bloody chicken.

924
01:01:23,416 --> 01:01:25,936
(door slams)

925
01:01:28,737 --> 01:01:31,427
(gentle music)

926
01:02:01,294 --> 01:02:03,994
- Birth certificates
from that period, sir.

927
01:02:03,993 --> 01:02:07,603
They show no connection between
the Hickses and Hammonds.

928
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:11,800
- But Biddy Dixon's mum
claimed that Tommy's mother,

929
01:02:11,804 --> 01:02:13,514
a lowly laundry lady,

930
01:02:13,514 --> 01:02:16,174
had been knocked up by
Colonel Sebastian Hammond.

931
01:02:16,173 --> 01:02:18,983
- So Duggie executed his own half brother?

932
01:02:18,978 --> 01:02:20,018
- Alleged half brother.

933
01:02:20,021 --> 01:02:22,191
- You could verify that
through DNA analysis, sir.

934
01:02:22,190 --> 01:02:25,670
- Oh, yes, so we could,
good idea, Stephens.

935
01:02:25,672 --> 01:02:27,222
- Thank you, sir.

936
01:02:27,215 --> 01:02:30,165
- Jones, what news of Danny and the gun?

937
01:02:31,060 --> 01:02:32,010
- He says he had nothing to do

938
01:02:32,012 --> 01:02:34,392
with the theft from the Hammonds,

939
01:02:34,389 --> 01:02:36,969
claims his fingerprints
must have been planted there

940
01:02:36,965 --> 01:02:39,215
by someone who wanted to frame him.

941
01:02:40,234 --> 01:02:42,104
- Was he serious?
- No, he was winding me up.

942
01:02:42,095 --> 01:02:44,175
He knows we can't touch him on that one.

943
01:02:45,256 --> 01:02:49,586
♪ The mademoiselle from
Armentières, parlez-vous ♪

944
01:02:49,592 --> 01:02:53,672
♪ The mademoiselle from
Armentières, parlez-vous ♪

945
01:02:53,671 --> 01:02:55,551
♪ The mademoiselle from Armentières ♪

946
01:02:55,547 --> 01:02:57,547
♪ Hasn't been for 40 years ♪

947
01:02:57,546 --> 01:03:01,606
♪ Rinky, dinky, parlez-vous ♪

948
01:03:01,607 --> 01:03:05,407
♪ The officers get the pie
and the cake, parlez-vous ♪

949
01:03:05,414 --> 01:03:09,254
♪ The officers get the pie
and the cake, parlez-vous ♪

950
01:03:09,245 --> 01:03:11,125
♪ The officers get the pie and the cake ♪

951
01:03:11,125 --> 01:03:12,955
♪ And all we get is a bellyache ♪

952
01:03:12,962 --> 01:03:16,042
♪ Rinky, dinky, parlez-vous ♪

953
01:03:16,036 --> 01:03:18,866
(birds chirping)

954
01:03:18,871 --> 01:03:20,301
- 10 minutes of an engraver's time

955
01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:21,780
in exchange for your life.

956
01:03:23,449 --> 01:03:24,699
That's all a poor man gets.

957
01:03:24,700 --> 01:03:27,350
- Eh, none of your commie
stuff here, please.

958
01:03:28,893 --> 01:03:30,353
- What did the army give me?

959
01:03:31,379 --> 01:03:33,239
A dishonourable discharge,

960
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:36,110
just for selling off a few bits
and bobs they weren't using.

961
01:03:36,105 --> 01:03:37,435
(laughing)

962
01:03:37,444 --> 01:03:41,444
(remote control car whirring)

963
01:03:44,063 --> 01:03:47,373
- Where are the kids controlling that?

964
01:03:50,476 --> 01:03:54,466
(remote control car crashing)

965
01:03:59,163 --> 01:04:02,853
What's that?

966
01:04:02,849 --> 01:04:04,069
- Bloody hell,

967
01:04:05,864 --> 01:04:11,084
that's a detonator.

968
01:04:14,091 --> 01:04:17,311
(explosion blasting)

969
01:04:38,128 --> 01:04:39,168
- [Man] Sir?

970
01:04:42,733 --> 01:04:44,243
(beeping)

971
01:04:44,239 --> 01:04:48,889
- Pentaerythrityl tetranitrate, P-E-T-N,

972
01:04:48,888 --> 01:04:51,308
the explosive popular with shoe bombers.

973
01:04:51,307 --> 01:04:52,877
It's easy to mould into any shape

974
01:04:52,882 --> 01:04:55,012
and remains stable until it's detonated.

975
01:04:56,187 --> 01:04:58,227
Now these touch cards will tell

976
01:04:58,231 --> 01:05:00,471
if a person's been handling explosives.

977
01:05:00,473 --> 01:05:02,523
So all we've got to do is to find someone

978
01:05:02,517 --> 01:05:04,377
with the telltale molecules on their hands

979
01:05:04,383 --> 01:05:05,323
and we've got 'em.

980
01:05:06,620 --> 01:05:07,490
Thank you.

981
01:05:08,919 --> 01:05:11,299
- There were three
Hammonds on that memorial,

982
01:05:11,296 --> 01:05:12,736
and you really think I or any of my men

983
01:05:12,735 --> 01:05:14,235
would try to destroy it?

984
01:05:14,243 --> 01:05:15,113
- What about Lionel?

985
01:05:15,111 --> 01:05:17,141
Was it an attempt on his life

986
01:05:17,135 --> 01:05:19,455
as revenge for the death of your father?

987
01:05:19,459 --> 01:05:22,389
- No, no, no, it's the Hickses
trying to discredit us.

988
01:05:22,391 --> 01:05:23,451
The Hickses are at the bottom

989
01:05:23,454 --> 01:05:25,974
of everything rotten round here.

990
01:05:25,967 --> 01:05:27,797
- Why didn't you press charges

991
01:05:27,802 --> 01:05:29,842
when your grandfather's gun was stolen?

992
01:05:30,889 --> 01:05:32,279
- My wife thought it would just create

993
01:05:32,276 --> 01:05:34,606
further bad feeling between the families.

994
01:05:34,608 --> 01:05:36,118
- Was she worried about that?

995
01:05:37,114 --> 01:05:38,834
- Who knows?

996
01:05:38,834 --> 01:05:42,254
Let's face it, what do you
get for burglary these days?

997
01:05:42,254 --> 01:05:44,374
A holiday in Wales with a social worker?

998
01:05:44,371 --> 01:05:46,991
- Tenerife, if it's serious.
- Thank you.

999
01:06:00,707 --> 01:06:03,837
(suspenseful music)

1000
01:06:11,006 --> 01:06:13,956
(window breaking)

1001
01:06:18,119 --> 01:06:19,939
- That was my bloody
Jag, I loved that car.

1002
01:06:19,938 --> 01:06:22,388
I mean, I'd hardly want
to blow it up, would I?

1003
01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:26,307
- The explosives were initially
aimed at the memorial,

1004
01:06:26,309 --> 01:06:28,429
perhaps even at Lionel.

1005
01:06:28,425 --> 01:06:31,375
- Right, it was a revenge
attempt by the Hammonds,

1006
01:06:31,376 --> 01:06:33,056
plain as the nose on your face.

1007
01:06:33,055 --> 01:06:35,425
But you are deliberately
ignoring the obvious,

1008
01:06:35,432 --> 01:06:37,282
'cause the police and
the army see themselves

1009
01:06:37,278 --> 01:06:39,788
as brothers in arms.

1010
01:06:39,791 --> 01:06:41,091
Do you know your trouble?

1011
01:06:42,074 --> 01:06:45,074
You have no respect for the
political and business community

1012
01:06:45,067 --> 01:06:46,627
as represented by their mayor.

1013
01:06:48,706 --> 01:06:50,746
- Danny, may we have some more

1014
01:06:50,750 --> 01:06:53,190
of your ubiquitous fingerprints, please?

1015
01:06:53,193 --> 01:06:54,613
- I didn't nick the gun!

1016
01:06:54,608 --> 01:06:56,778
I wasn't charged, so it didn't happen.

1017
01:06:56,777 --> 01:06:58,167
- I choose not to believe that,

1018
01:06:58,174 --> 01:07:00,454
so your finger prints
now please, on there.

1019
01:07:02,402 --> 01:07:03,272
- [Judy] Where is he?

1020
01:07:03,271 --> 01:07:04,761
- [Secretary] He's in
conference, Mrs. Hicks.

1021
01:07:04,764 --> 01:07:05,914
- [Judy] Oh, piss off.

1022
01:07:08,486 --> 01:07:09,726
- Hello, darling.

1023
01:07:09,727 --> 01:07:11,527
- You are so dead.

1024
01:07:11,531 --> 01:07:13,281
- And why is that, my precious?

1025
01:07:13,283 --> 01:07:14,173
- Bella Hammond.

1026
01:07:15,441 --> 01:07:20,661
You have been shagging Bella
Hammond for the last 25 years.

1027
01:07:21,166 --> 01:07:22,756
- Dad!

1028
01:07:22,761 --> 01:07:24,111
- No, I haven't.

1029
01:07:24,106 --> 01:07:27,456
- Chanel Number bleeding Five.

1030
01:07:27,464 --> 01:07:29,994
And she knows what you yell
when you get your rocks off,

1031
01:07:29,994 --> 01:07:31,574
"Go, Dave, go!"

1032
01:07:31,572 --> 01:07:34,792
Well, go, Dave, go, it's all in my name,

1033
01:07:34,794 --> 01:07:38,904
so right now it's go, Judy,
go with every penny you've got

1034
01:07:38,902 --> 01:07:42,672
and every inch of skin on your fat arse.

1035
01:07:42,666 --> 01:07:45,486
See you in jail, loser.

1036
01:07:46,472 --> 01:07:47,642
- Bella Hammond?

1037
01:07:48,526 --> 01:07:50,796
- I was just getting
some inside information.

1038
01:07:50,799 --> 01:07:52,239
- You're so full of it!

1039
01:07:53,122 --> 01:07:55,252
- My future mother-in-law.

1040
01:07:55,246 --> 01:07:56,106
(chuckles)

1041
01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:56,984
A bit off, dad.

1042
01:07:58,755 --> 01:08:02,155
- It seems that lack of
respect for the Mayor

1043
01:08:02,155 --> 01:08:04,525
is endemic in our wayward community.

1044
01:08:09,106 --> 01:08:12,226
(suspenseful music)

1045
01:08:21,447 --> 01:08:23,597
- What are you doing?

1046
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:24,470
- Nothing.

1047
01:08:25,501 --> 01:08:27,661
- Judy Hicks has been
banging round the village

1048
01:08:27,659 --> 01:08:29,109
telling everyone that you and Dave

1049
01:08:29,109 --> 01:08:31,759
have been having an affair for years.

1050
01:08:31,757 --> 01:08:33,077
- She always was a noisy woman.

1051
01:08:33,081 --> 01:08:36,581
- So it's not true?
- Well, of course not.

1052
01:08:38,474 --> 01:08:40,114
- Thank god.

1053
01:08:40,109 --> 01:08:43,529
- An affair would suggest
some kind of passion,

1054
01:08:43,529 --> 01:08:44,539
affection even.

1055
01:08:46,261 --> 01:08:49,301
All Dave and I ever had
was pretty basic sex.

1056
01:08:50,349 --> 01:08:51,979
- You are joking?

1057
01:08:51,975 --> 01:08:56,625
- Well, it wasn't really up
your strasse, was it, darling?

1058
01:08:56,634 --> 01:08:58,684
- But a Hicks, for god's sake.

1059
01:08:58,680 --> 01:08:59,550
- Yes, I know.

1060
01:09:00,776 --> 01:09:02,286
That was the really good bit.

1061
01:09:04,507 --> 01:09:07,027
- That is quite unforgivable.

1062
01:09:09,149 --> 01:09:12,339
- I don't need forgiveness
from this family.

1063
01:09:26,499 --> 01:09:29,509
- That's all the men
in the village tested,

1064
01:09:30,965 --> 01:09:34,045
and the boys that run
the cars, not a trace.

1065
01:09:34,049 --> 01:09:36,119
I'm very disappointed.

1066
01:09:36,124 --> 01:09:38,174
- What about the women of the village?

1067
01:09:38,167 --> 01:09:40,647
- Explosives, not a woman thing.

1068
01:09:40,649 --> 01:09:43,289
- That's very sexist, George.

1069
01:09:43,287 --> 01:09:44,597
- You want me to test the women?

1070
01:09:44,601 --> 01:09:48,081
- Yes, I do, and dig out
all the public records

1071
01:09:48,083 --> 01:09:49,443
on both the families.

1072
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:51,829
And you better ask
those nice people at DNA

1073
01:09:51,827 --> 01:09:53,877
if we can afford to test them.

1074
01:09:58,299 --> 01:10:00,499
- Is he onto something?

1075
01:10:00,502 --> 01:10:03,462
- We're never quite sure.

1076
01:10:03,461 --> 01:10:06,161
(gentle music)

1077
01:10:21,703 --> 01:10:23,083
- Ah, Reverend.
- Hello.

1078
01:10:23,078 --> 01:10:24,628
- I'm looking for the
grave of Thomas Hicks.

1079
01:10:24,630 --> 01:10:26,110
Can you help me, please?

1080
01:10:26,110 --> 01:10:29,590
- Yes, it's down there just on the left.

1081
01:10:44,841 --> 01:10:47,661
- All right, all right,
I'll be there in 20 minutes.

1082
01:10:54,598 --> 01:10:56,638
Solicitor, he says he
has something of interest

1083
01:10:56,642 --> 01:10:59,262
regarding father's will, excuse me.

1084
01:10:59,263 --> 01:11:02,393
(suspenseful music)

1085
01:11:03,348 --> 01:11:05,958
(dog panting)

1086
01:11:31,923 --> 01:11:35,143
(machine gun firing)

1087
01:11:56,955 --> 01:11:59,215
(gagging)

1088
01:13:07,765 --> 01:13:09,755
- What's happening?

1089
01:13:09,757 --> 01:13:12,367
- There's a misfed round in the breech.

1090
01:13:13,695 --> 01:13:15,565
I wonder if the shooter was injured?

1091
01:13:17,616 --> 01:13:19,796
- Well, there's no sign
of blood or anything.

1092
01:13:23,851 --> 01:13:28,841
- Your solicitor, Martin
Chadwick, denies phoning Johnny.

1093
01:13:29,802 --> 01:13:31,042
- But Johnny said it was him.

1094
01:13:31,036 --> 01:13:33,716
- Yeah, well, the call actually came

1095
01:13:33,715 --> 01:13:35,665
from an unidentified mobile phone.

1096
01:13:37,668 --> 01:13:40,168
Have you got any thoughts?
- Hicks.

1097
01:13:41,546 --> 01:13:44,466
- Yes, but other possibilities.

1098
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:48,210
- One of his soldier boys.

1099
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:52,730
You know, Johnny was a
little left of centre,

1100
01:13:52,734 --> 01:13:54,604
sexually, not politically.

1101
01:13:57,176 --> 01:14:00,956
- Did he know about your
relationship with Dave Hicks?

1102
01:14:00,961 --> 01:14:02,371
- It wasn't a relationship.

1103
01:14:03,943 --> 01:14:05,643
We just had sex occasionally.

1104
01:14:05,643 --> 01:14:09,303
- Which went on for a period
of many years, by all accounts.

1105
01:14:11,149 --> 01:14:13,189
- Where are you going with this?

1106
01:14:13,192 --> 01:14:16,862
- Well, it must throw a
somewhat speculative light

1107
01:14:16,863 --> 01:14:19,303
over the parentage of your two daughters.

1108
01:14:19,303 --> 01:14:21,533
- Oh, for god's sake, don't you start.

1109
01:14:23,108 --> 01:14:25,138
They are Hammonds through and through,

1110
01:14:25,142 --> 01:14:27,802
just look at them, their noses, eyes.

1111
01:14:27,801 --> 01:14:30,571
There is no way they are
anything to do with Dave Hicks.

1112
01:14:30,571 --> 01:14:32,551
- Yes, yes, I'm agreeing with you,

1113
01:14:32,545 --> 01:14:35,345
nothing at all to do with Mayor Hicks.

1114
01:14:36,396 --> 01:14:37,256
- Right.

1115
01:14:44,119 --> 01:14:46,109
- Your daughter, Sophie,

1116
01:14:48,592 --> 01:14:52,212
was born four months
after you married Johnny.

1117
01:14:53,378 --> 01:14:55,668
- So I was pregnant when I got married.

1118
01:14:55,672 --> 01:14:58,012
Hardly ground breaking territory.

1119
01:14:58,008 --> 01:15:01,938
- Yes, but until two months
before you married Johnny,

1120
01:15:01,939 --> 01:15:05,569
he was away in Australia for a year.

1121
01:15:05,568 --> 01:15:08,678
Do you see that the maths is confusing.

1122
01:15:10,397 --> 01:15:12,737
- He flew back for a break.

1123
01:15:12,739 --> 01:15:13,709
- Well, he may well have done,

1124
01:15:13,709 --> 01:15:16,689
but you wouldn't have
been here, would you?

1125
01:15:16,691 --> 01:15:18,791
- Yes, I was.
- No, you weren't,

1126
01:15:18,789 --> 01:15:21,859
because you were in Northern
Ireland working for the M.O.D.

1127
01:15:21,855 --> 01:15:24,295
as indeed was Henry Hammond.

1128
01:15:24,295 --> 01:15:26,495
In fact, you were his assistant, his PA.

1129
01:15:28,142 --> 01:15:32,382
As you say, Hammond through and through.

1130
01:15:35,201 --> 01:15:39,361
I thought that Henry was
a little over familiar

1131
01:15:39,362 --> 01:15:42,662
for a father-in-law, but you
didn't seem to notice, did you?

1132
01:15:42,657 --> 01:15:47,667
It was as if those
gestures were not uncommon.

1133
01:15:50,196 --> 01:15:53,636
So you had Sophie by Henry.
- Yes.

1134
01:15:56,733 --> 01:16:00,543
- And Kate?
- May as well be

1135
01:16:00,539 --> 01:16:02,609
hung for two lambs as a sheep.

1136
01:16:05,909 --> 01:16:09,179
- And what did your husband
think of this arrangement?

1137
01:16:09,183 --> 01:16:14,223
- Henry gave Johnny a family
and a place in local society,

1138
01:16:16,364 --> 01:16:18,664
but at considerable
cost to his self-esteem.

1139
01:16:22,259 --> 01:16:23,749
I would be grateful if you would keep

1140
01:16:23,750 --> 01:16:27,530
your very perceptive insights to yourself.

1141
01:16:28,625 --> 01:16:29,965
- [Barnaby] I'll do my very best.

1142
01:16:31,903 --> 01:16:35,033
- You're an officer and a gentleman.

1143
01:16:39,683 --> 01:16:41,183
- So how come you two are always around

1144
01:16:41,184 --> 01:16:43,204
when things go wrong?

1145
01:16:43,196 --> 01:16:45,136
- We were fixing a water
pump at the Reynolds place,

1146
01:16:45,136 --> 01:16:45,996
just up the road.

1147
01:16:46,004 --> 01:16:47,664
- And what does Lionel do?

1148
01:16:49,088 --> 01:16:50,918
- He guards my lunch, okay?

1149
01:16:52,100 --> 01:16:55,120
He just comes for the
ride, he's me old mate.

1150
01:16:55,115 --> 01:16:59,335
- Look at this, found
near the machine gun.

1151
01:16:59,340 --> 01:17:01,280
How many bits of a machine
gun are made of plastic?

1152
01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:02,334
- None.
- No.

1153
01:17:04,134 --> 01:17:06,174
But toy cars can be made of plastic.

1154
01:17:07,919 --> 01:17:09,649
Mickey Ryan's military record?

1155
01:17:09,650 --> 01:17:12,320
- In Northern Ireland,
same time as Henry Hammond.

1156
01:17:12,319 --> 01:17:15,079
Dishonourable discharge from
the Royal Midsomer Yeomanry

1157
01:17:15,082 --> 01:17:18,352
for stealing ordinance, unspecified.

1158
01:17:18,346 --> 01:17:21,066
- That is a word we do not use
around here, Miss Stephens.

1159
01:17:21,068 --> 01:17:22,968
Get it specified.
- Yes, sir.

1160
01:17:26,646 --> 01:17:30,356
- Just had a hopping mad Judy
Hicks come in, gave me this.

1161
01:17:30,358 --> 01:17:33,788
A conversation between
her husband and son Danny

1162
01:17:33,789 --> 01:17:36,719
discussing how they might
develop North Meadow,

1163
01:17:36,719 --> 01:17:37,649
Hammond land.

1164
01:17:39,544 --> 01:17:41,974
- Duggie Hammond wanted to make amends.

1165
01:17:46,750 --> 01:17:47,620
Well, come on!

1166
01:18:01,381 --> 01:18:04,251
Here, George, your start of a 10.

1167
01:18:06,321 --> 01:18:08,161
- Small transmitter box.

1168
01:18:08,156 --> 01:18:11,886
- Yeah, which presumably
transmitted to a receiver

1169
01:18:11,889 --> 01:18:14,459
on the machine gun where
I found the other aerial.

1170
01:18:16,091 --> 01:18:18,691
Johnny presses the remote
for his garage door

1171
01:18:18,688 --> 01:18:21,008
using his normal infrared transmitter

1172
01:18:21,013 --> 01:18:23,693
which triggered the garage motor,

1173
01:18:23,693 --> 01:18:26,193
which in turn triggered this transmitter

1174
01:18:26,185 --> 01:18:28,965
that sent a signal to the machine gun.

1175
01:18:28,970 --> 01:18:32,190
(machine gun firing)

1176
01:18:36,702 --> 01:18:38,502
- And the wheelchair?
- Same M.O.

1177
01:18:38,499 --> 01:18:39,969
Old Henry is executed.

1178
01:18:41,568 --> 01:18:44,228
(gun bangs)

1179
01:18:44,234 --> 01:18:46,834
Radio receiver is wired up
to his wheelchair controls,

1180
01:18:46,830 --> 01:18:47,700
and off he goes.

1181
01:18:49,445 --> 01:18:51,285
Then, trying to destroy the evidence,

1182
01:18:51,293 --> 01:18:53,873
the controller guides Henry into the path

1183
01:18:53,869 --> 01:18:55,279
of the oncoming milk truck,

1184
01:18:56,382 --> 01:18:59,332
which they knew always
passed that way at that time.

1185
01:18:59,333 --> 01:19:01,503
Same with the radio controlled car.

1186
01:19:01,501 --> 01:19:04,811
- So who's the electronics
expert around here?

1187
01:19:04,807 --> 01:19:06,117
- Mickey Ryan.
- Yeah, but he's alibied,

1188
01:19:06,121 --> 01:19:08,721
isn't he, by all his re-enactor mates?

1189
01:19:10,917 --> 01:19:12,247
- So what do we do now?

1190
01:19:12,250 --> 01:19:15,450
- What we do now, Jones,
is think laterally.

1191
01:19:15,453 --> 01:19:17,213
Go at it from the other flank.

1192
01:19:17,212 --> 01:19:20,342
(suspenseful music)

1193
01:19:30,156 --> 01:19:33,806
This is the local and very bent solicitor,

1194
01:19:34,931 --> 01:19:38,221
and we deal with him in
a way he understands.

1195
01:19:42,167 --> 01:19:45,137
Mr. Chadwick, you deal with all

1196
01:19:45,139 --> 01:19:47,359
of David Hicks's legal work, do you?

1197
01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:48,840
- Yes.

1198
01:19:48,839 --> 01:19:50,069
- Well, I'm sorry to
have to tell you this,

1199
01:19:50,071 --> 01:19:55,141
but his little empire and
all its associated chicanery,

1200
01:19:55,138 --> 01:19:59,078
is about to implode, owing
to his wife feeding us

1201
01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:03,680
details of his somewhat
illegal business arrangements.

1202
01:20:03,678 --> 01:20:07,468
You, you get several mentions.

1203
01:20:12,562 --> 01:20:14,382
- How can I help you, chief inspector?

1204
01:20:14,376 --> 01:20:15,626
- Oh, Martin, thank you.

1205
01:20:17,390 --> 01:20:22,150
Does David Hicks have any
entitlement to Hammond land?

1206
01:20:23,973 --> 01:20:27,103
(suspenseful music)

1207
01:20:36,273 --> 01:20:39,353
- When the trust is wound up,
the Hickses get North Meadow.

1208
01:20:40,329 --> 01:20:43,219
This was a secret codicil
to Douglas Hammond's will.

1209
01:20:44,632 --> 01:20:46,822
- How did David Hicks find out about that?

1210
01:20:48,442 --> 01:20:49,362
- I can't think.

1211
01:20:51,851 --> 01:20:53,721
- When does the trust expire?

1212
01:20:55,730 --> 01:20:58,930
- By law, all trusts expire
after three generations.

1213
01:20:58,931 --> 01:21:03,561
- So that will be now, after
the death of Johnny Hammond?

1214
01:21:03,561 --> 01:21:05,401
- Not quite, the trust remains in place

1215
01:21:05,396 --> 01:21:07,946
while the spouse of the
deceased is still living.

1216
01:21:08,851 --> 01:21:09,721
- Spouse?

1217
01:21:13,040 --> 01:21:15,480
Martin, thank you very much.

1218
01:21:24,761 --> 01:21:25,801
- Mr. Mayor?

1219
01:21:47,595 --> 01:21:52,805
- Father, grandfather, one and the same?

1220
01:21:59,909 --> 01:22:01,139
You disgust me.

1221
01:22:04,778 --> 01:22:06,618
- I wanted you both so much,

1222
01:22:08,355 --> 01:22:12,375
my children, my daughters.

1223
01:22:14,841 --> 01:22:19,071
If I hadn't behaved as I did,
neither of you would be here.

1224
01:22:19,074 --> 01:22:20,174
- I wish I wasn't.

1225
01:22:26,540 --> 01:22:27,680
A surveyor called.

1226
01:22:28,771 --> 01:22:30,081
He wants you to go up to North Meadow

1227
01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:32,975
to discuss boundaries or something.

1228
01:22:46,069 --> 01:22:49,109
(tractor rumbling)

1229
01:23:20,298 --> 01:23:23,168
(dramatic music)

1230
01:24:19,793 --> 01:24:21,793
- Bella, you all right?

1231
01:24:44,928 --> 01:24:48,138
- Thank you, Mr. Barnaby,
you saved my life.

1232
01:24:48,140 --> 01:24:49,490
- [Barnaby] Actually,
it was Jones who did,

1233
01:24:49,485 --> 01:24:51,775
well, but, no, it was nothing.

1234
01:24:51,779 --> 01:24:53,219
- Sir!
- Yay.

1235
01:24:57,441 --> 01:24:58,851
- We found the transmitter.

1236
01:25:03,030 --> 01:25:07,110
- It was tuned to the 2.2 HG public band,

1237
01:25:08,452 --> 01:25:11,542
so all that was needed was
for this simple transmitter

1238
01:25:11,538 --> 01:25:14,518
to convert the electronic
pulses to mechanical movement.

1239
01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:16,880
- Really?
- And it's Kate's horse box,

1240
01:25:16,877 --> 01:25:19,717
and she was the one who sent
Mrs. Hammond to North Meadow.

1241
01:25:19,723 --> 01:25:21,033
Can I run with this, sir?

1242
01:25:23,915 --> 01:25:26,515
- So how do you explain
these facts, Miss Hammond?

1243
01:25:26,522 --> 01:25:28,142
- I don't explain anything.

1244
01:25:28,138 --> 01:25:30,708
I'm just telling you, I got a phone call.

1245
01:25:30,714 --> 01:25:32,124
- But the horse box is your vehicle?

1246
01:25:32,121 --> 01:25:33,921
- So bloody what?

1247
01:25:33,915 --> 01:25:35,475
I can barely operate a light switch.

1248
01:25:35,483 --> 01:25:36,353
I mean, do you really think I'd know

1249
01:25:36,351 --> 01:25:38,741
diddly twat about electronic gizmos?

1250
01:25:38,742 --> 01:25:40,152
She's the one who did engineering.

1251
01:25:40,150 --> 01:25:43,900
- Oh, please, I switched to
sociology after one term.

1252
01:25:43,904 --> 01:25:45,524
Well, you're the one
always talking about cash.

1253
01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:47,220
- Oh, thank you, sister dearest.

1254
01:25:47,220 --> 01:25:48,930
- Just shut up.
- Up yours!

1255
01:25:48,930 --> 01:25:50,640
- I'm so sick of you!

1256
01:25:50,638 --> 01:25:52,458
- Hey, hey, ah, ah.

1257
01:25:55,501 --> 01:25:57,601
Ladies, ladies, please.

1258
01:25:57,599 --> 01:25:58,859
- I hate you!
- Hey.

1259
01:25:58,856 --> 01:26:00,666
- Ow!
- I will kill you.

1260
01:26:02,142 --> 01:26:03,882
- Please!
- Kill you!

1261
01:26:05,096 --> 01:26:06,746
- Sir!
- Yes, Jones?

1262
01:26:10,943 --> 01:26:12,403
- There's a situation.

1263
01:26:12,401 --> 01:26:13,331
That's enough!

1264
01:26:19,212 --> 01:26:20,772
You don't have to look quite so smug, sir.

1265
01:26:20,774 --> 01:26:23,034
- Well, of course, I do.

1266
01:26:23,026 --> 01:26:25,156
It's one of the perks of experience.

1267
01:26:31,712 --> 01:26:34,182
- [Biddy] Now what do
you want, Mr. Busybody?

1268
01:26:34,183 --> 01:26:36,443
- Biddy, what do you know about Lazarus?

1269
01:26:36,436 --> 01:26:37,666
- He came back from the dead?

1270
01:26:37,673 --> 01:26:40,413
- He certainly did, and
what did he do then?

1271
01:26:41,315 --> 01:26:43,175
- Picked up his bed and walked.

1272
01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:44,050
- Yes, it was a miracle,

1273
01:26:44,048 --> 01:26:45,768
and I think you performed a miracle

1274
01:26:45,768 --> 01:26:50,708
with the local social
services, haven't you?

1275
01:26:53,619 --> 01:26:55,649
- So what's in there?
- Hey, hey, hey!

1276
01:26:57,050 --> 01:26:58,640
Do you know what a maguffin is?

1277
01:26:58,635 --> 01:27:01,625
- No.
- Well, it's one of them.

1278
01:27:01,628 --> 01:27:04,498
(dramatic music)

1279
01:27:23,159 --> 01:27:24,409
- So it's a Hicks, then?

1280
01:27:29,843 --> 01:27:31,763
- Oh, this is personal, isn't it?

1281
01:27:31,762 --> 01:27:33,372
This is all about your bleeding roof.

1282
01:27:33,367 --> 01:27:36,247
- No, it's not about my
roof, it's about motive.

1283
01:27:36,245 --> 01:27:38,545
- So what is my motive?

1284
01:27:38,550 --> 01:27:40,080
- You're an evil little crook.

1285
01:27:40,082 --> 01:27:41,412
- Not now, Jude.

1286
01:27:41,407 --> 01:27:43,137
- Oh, thank you, thank you very much

1287
01:27:43,135 --> 01:27:45,355
for your interesting tape, Mrs. Hicks.

1288
01:27:46,958 --> 01:27:49,368
- What tape?
- The one that'll hang you.

1289
01:27:49,373 --> 01:27:52,003
- The tape that contains
amongst other gems

1290
01:27:52,001 --> 01:27:55,711
your plans to exploit and
corrupt the local planning laws

1291
01:27:55,713 --> 01:27:58,013
once you got your hands
on the North Meadow.

1292
01:28:04,034 --> 01:28:06,234
- No.
- I warned you.

1293
01:28:06,226 --> 01:28:09,036
- Course, you can only inherit that land

1294
01:28:09,039 --> 01:28:13,759
after the deaths of both
Johnny and Bella Hammond.

1295
01:28:13,757 --> 01:28:16,537
Now, David, that looks like
a pretty good motive to me.

1296
01:28:16,536 --> 01:28:20,506
- Right, take him down.
- But--

1297
01:28:20,508 --> 01:28:22,808
- Why would you want
to kill Henry Hammond?

1298
01:28:22,813 --> 01:28:24,533
- Yeah, yeah, right.

1299
01:28:25,701 --> 01:28:27,421
- Well, I'm not sure, Dave.

1300
01:28:27,422 --> 01:28:30,312
Why would anyone want
to kill Henry Hammond?

1301
01:28:30,310 --> 01:28:32,600
Danny, you got an opinion on this?

1302
01:28:32,601 --> 01:28:34,221
- Eh?
- Oh, come on, Danny.

1303
01:28:34,220 --> 01:28:36,700
We all know that you
stole the murder weapon.

1304
01:28:38,349 --> 01:28:41,269
- Okay, I nicked the gun,
but, you know, it disappeared.

1305
01:28:42,676 --> 01:28:45,796
Really, it was in my
room and then it wasn't.

1306
01:28:45,804 --> 01:28:47,994
- The room you once
shared with your brother?

1307
01:28:49,006 --> 01:28:53,586
Will, did you take the gun?
- Why would I?

1308
01:28:55,304 --> 01:28:58,454
- Henry, Johnny, Bella,

1309
01:28:59,506 --> 01:29:02,426
who inherits the estate
once they've all gone?

1310
01:29:04,448 --> 01:29:05,388
Well, I'll tell you.

1311
01:29:05,387 --> 01:29:08,917
Kate and her sister, Sophie, your fiance.

1312
01:29:08,921 --> 01:29:12,371
She'd become very well-off, won't she, eh?

1313
01:29:13,347 --> 01:29:16,297
But we don't consider
that very likely, do we?

1314
01:29:16,300 --> 01:29:19,580
We haven't found an ounce
of malice in Will's history.

1315
01:29:19,578 --> 01:29:22,978
He's a nice man.
- He's a very nice man.

1316
01:29:22,977 --> 01:29:26,107
- Where does the malice really
come from in this family, eh?

1317
01:29:30,245 --> 01:29:32,675
- Do you bloody mind?

1318
01:29:32,679 --> 01:29:34,639
What are you getting at, Barnaby?

1319
01:29:34,635 --> 01:29:35,495
You hate the Hammonds.

1320
01:29:35,503 --> 01:29:38,513
I mean, you really hate the Hammonds,

1321
01:29:38,513 --> 01:29:40,443
especially after you found out about,

1322
01:29:41,506 --> 01:29:43,966
about the interesting connection

1323
01:29:44,853 --> 01:29:47,213
between Bella Hammond and David here.

1324
01:29:48,565 --> 01:29:49,505
- I'm not a murderer.

1325
01:29:49,514 --> 01:29:52,134
I'm not a bleeding psycho either.

1326
01:29:52,131 --> 01:29:54,441
And I have alibis for
all the times, don't I?

1327
01:29:54,436 --> 01:29:56,246
- Yes, you have, indeed you do.

1328
01:29:58,401 --> 01:30:01,251
- So you've done us all and no result.

1329
01:30:02,438 --> 01:30:03,738
- [Judy] Right.

1330
01:30:09,023 --> 01:30:10,053
- Hello, Lionel.

1331
01:30:11,864 --> 01:30:14,474
(box rattles)

1332
01:30:22,484 --> 01:30:23,994
- You took your time.

1333
01:30:23,986 --> 01:30:26,396
- Dad, sit down, you're disabled?

1334
01:30:26,395 --> 01:30:28,625
- It's all right, I'm not
concerned with benefit fraud.

1335
01:30:28,626 --> 01:30:29,956
Biddy Dixon is always teaching people

1336
01:30:29,958 --> 01:30:31,638
how to fiddle the system.

1337
01:30:37,041 --> 01:30:39,161
- So what's your beef then?

1338
01:30:40,054 --> 01:30:42,794
- Lionel, you were in the engineers

1339
01:30:42,786 --> 01:30:44,826
during the last war, weren't you?

1340
01:30:44,830 --> 01:30:46,520
Dropped into France before D-Day

1341
01:30:46,519 --> 01:30:50,369
to blow up railway lines,
bridges, supply depot and stuff.

1342
01:30:50,367 --> 01:30:53,937
You really know your
explosives, don't you?

1343
01:30:53,943 --> 01:30:54,863
- Expert.

1344
01:30:55,736 --> 01:30:57,586
- And then you became
one of the first people

1345
01:30:57,593 --> 01:30:59,253
to repair televisions.

1346
01:30:59,250 --> 01:31:01,770
- Yeah, I looked after Mr.
Churchill's television.

1347
01:31:01,774 --> 01:31:04,624
- So, remote controls.
- Doddle.

1348
01:31:05,872 --> 01:31:07,932
- And then you were
made an honorary member

1349
01:31:07,926 --> 01:31:11,106
of the Royal Midsomer Yeomanry reenactors,

1350
01:31:11,106 --> 01:31:13,636
and getting your hands on their armaments,

1351
01:31:13,640 --> 01:31:15,430
that was a doddle too, wasn't it?

1352
01:31:15,432 --> 01:31:16,782
Especially for a cunning old man

1353
01:31:16,778 --> 01:31:18,408
that looked like he wouldn't harm a fly.

1354
01:31:18,405 --> 01:31:20,135
- Well, mugs, the lot of them.

1355
01:31:21,481 --> 01:31:24,291
- So all you had to do was
to wait the opportunity

1356
01:31:25,506 --> 01:31:29,016
to use your accumulated
skills, and I suspect, Lionel,

1357
01:31:29,020 --> 01:31:32,600
I suspect that opportunity
came down the pub

1358
01:31:32,596 --> 01:31:35,666
when you overheard Mickey
Ryan and his idiot pals

1359
01:31:35,672 --> 01:31:38,652
concocting their plan to
humiliate Henry Hammond.

1360
01:31:38,654 --> 01:31:41,694
- Then we recreate the
whole execution scenario,

1361
01:31:42,752 --> 01:31:43,892
see how he likes it?

1362
01:31:48,852 --> 01:31:50,822
- [Barnaby] Then you went to Danny's room.

1363
01:31:53,492 --> 01:31:55,092
I bet that particular weapon

1364
01:31:55,088 --> 01:31:57,898
pleased your sense of justice, eh, Lionel?

1365
01:31:57,903 --> 01:31:59,293
- It killed my dad.

1366
01:32:00,603 --> 01:32:03,183
- Then, up on Hammond Hill, you watched

1367
01:32:03,179 --> 01:32:06,449
as Mickey Ryan conducted his little farce.

1368
01:32:07,324 --> 01:32:11,044
- Fire!
(guns banging)

1369
01:32:11,043 --> 01:32:14,143
- And
(gun bangs)

1370
01:32:14,142 --> 01:32:17,782
you attached a remotely activated device

1371
01:32:17,777 --> 01:32:20,567
to Henry's electrically operated chair.

1372
01:32:21,999 --> 01:32:25,799
(wheelchair whirring)

1373
01:32:25,795 --> 01:32:28,735
And goodnight, Mr. Hammond.

1374
01:32:28,744 --> 01:32:31,094
(crashing)

1375
01:32:34,637 --> 01:32:36,417
One strange detail.

1376
01:32:36,421 --> 01:32:39,671
Why was the gun dumped in shallow water?

1377
01:32:43,824 --> 01:32:47,804
Answer, because the
thrower was a very old man

1378
01:32:47,796 --> 01:32:49,926
who didn't have a great deal of strength.

1379
01:32:51,559 --> 01:32:53,939
A simple explanation, but
one that didn't occur to me

1380
01:32:53,938 --> 01:32:57,798
for some little time. similarly
with the fun and games

1381
01:32:57,798 --> 01:33:00,578
down at the war memorial.

1382
01:33:00,578 --> 01:33:03,788
(explosion blasting)

1383
01:33:10,697 --> 01:33:14,327
That was a very clever
attempt that, Lionel,

1384
01:33:14,333 --> 01:33:16,903
to deflect suspicion away from yourself.

1385
01:33:18,108 --> 01:33:20,438
- My bloody car!

1386
01:33:20,444 --> 01:33:22,764
- Teach you not to let me ride in it.

1387
01:33:22,759 --> 01:33:25,819
- Then there was the
death of Johnny Hammond.

1388
01:33:25,824 --> 01:33:27,554
That must have been quite a
challenge for you, Lionel, eh?

1389
01:33:27,545 --> 01:33:29,995
- Yeah, I needed all me smarts there.

1390
01:33:29,995 --> 01:33:31,525
- Of course, you couldn't operate
a machine gun by yourself,

1391
01:33:31,528 --> 01:33:35,008
could you, but you could
rig one very effectively.

1392
01:33:37,982 --> 01:33:41,072
So you attached all the necessary gizmos

1393
01:33:41,068 --> 01:33:44,518
and linked them through to
the garage door mechanism,

1394
01:33:44,520 --> 01:33:48,230
thus Johnny Hammond
triggered his own death

1395
01:33:48,232 --> 01:33:50,302
within minutes of you telephoning

1396
01:33:50,296 --> 01:33:52,776
to tell him his solicitor
wanted to see him.

1397
01:33:52,777 --> 01:33:56,167
(machine gun blasting)

1398
01:33:58,826 --> 01:34:01,396
Same with the baler, I guess.

1399
01:34:01,401 --> 01:34:03,831
- Oh, rigging that up
was a stroke of genius.

1400
01:34:05,155 --> 01:34:07,225
- Dad, why?

1401
01:34:08,408 --> 01:34:09,918
Why'd you do all this?

1402
01:34:09,917 --> 01:34:12,007
- The Hammonds killed my dad!

1403
01:34:13,220 --> 01:34:15,360
- But you've been living
with that for 80 years!

1404
01:34:15,360 --> 01:34:16,690
- Ah, it wasn't just that.

1405
01:34:16,687 --> 01:34:19,417
- No, a few months ago,

1406
01:34:19,419 --> 01:34:22,089
Biddy told you the
whole story, didn't she?

1407
01:34:23,599 --> 01:34:24,749
And it was even worse.

1408
01:34:26,510 --> 01:34:30,990
Tommy Hicks was executed
by his own half-brother.

1409
01:34:30,990 --> 01:34:33,910
(gun bangs)

1410
01:34:33,913 --> 01:34:38,313
Alleged half-brother,
that is, still not proven.

1411
01:34:38,313 --> 01:34:39,853
- Well, it's true.

1412
01:34:39,846 --> 01:34:42,046
Tommy and Duggie Hammond was brothers.

1413
01:34:42,046 --> 01:34:45,476
But Duggie didn't want a Hicks
muscling in on their family.

1414
01:34:46,530 --> 01:34:49,450
No scum in the toffs' trough.

1415
01:34:52,087 --> 01:34:55,057
- You heard Dave and
Danny talk about the day

1416
01:34:55,059 --> 01:34:58,289
the North Meadow would go to a Hicks.

1417
01:34:58,292 --> 01:35:00,122
- Yeah, and I thought why should we wait?

1418
01:35:00,116 --> 01:35:02,236
We've waited long enough for what's ours,

1419
01:35:02,243 --> 01:35:04,503
what those bastards owed us.

1420
01:35:04,496 --> 01:35:06,036
So I got them, didn't I?

1421
01:35:06,036 --> 01:35:07,486
I did, I got them.

1422
01:35:08,552 --> 01:35:12,392
- Dad, you are gonna spend
the rest of your life in jail.

1423
01:35:13,724 --> 01:35:17,434
- How long is that, 10 minutes, a year?

1424
01:35:19,313 --> 01:35:21,113
Life, who cares?

1425
01:35:21,106 --> 01:35:21,976
I won.

1426
01:35:23,682 --> 01:35:24,562
I won the war!

1427
01:35:26,991 --> 01:35:31,171
♪ It's the soldiers of
the queen, my lads ♪

1428
01:35:31,170 --> 01:35:35,200
♪ Who've seen, my lads,
who've seen, my lads ♪

1429
01:35:35,204 --> 01:35:39,064
♪ In the fight for England's glory, lads ♪

1430
01:35:39,060 --> 01:35:42,880
♪ The soldiers of the queen ♪

1431
01:35:45,133 --> 01:35:46,813
I did it for you, dad.

1432
01:36:07,275 --> 01:36:10,065
- How'd it go?
- As expected.

1433
01:36:10,072 --> 01:36:12,802
Unfit to plead, detained
at her majesty's pleasure.

1434
01:36:13,992 --> 01:36:17,082
- How did you get his
honour to do this for free?

1435
01:36:17,079 --> 01:36:18,699
- [Barnaby] His honour is doing this

1436
01:36:18,695 --> 01:36:20,425
out of the kindness of his heart.

1437
01:36:21,472 --> 01:36:23,522
- That is nice.
- Well, I thought so.

1438
01:36:28,737 --> 01:36:31,337
(eerie music)